This article isn’t going to be a pleasant one. I am going to be talking about my experiences in ABA (Applied Behavior Analysis) therapy. I will also be making references to Conversion Therapy. This article could be very triggering, so if you think this article might be a trigger for you, I strongly encourage you not to read on.

When you do a search online for ABA therapy, you will find the following:

“Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) is a type of therapy that focuses on improving specific behaviors, such as social skills, communication, reading, and academics as well as adaptive…

Or: “What it’s like to grow up having to be “ladylike”.

Tell me reader, what’s the earliest childhood memory that you can remember?

If you were a little boy,
then your answer would probably be:

“I was running around and playing in my backyard. My feet touched the ground, and
I realized that I had stepped in mud. I laughed when I got into a mud fight.”

Here’s how that would have gone down when I was little.

I stared out at the sun in sky. I was told to go play outside, so I did. I started running around…

Imagine yourself sitting in your Psychiatrist’s office, at your therapy session. You’re discussing things with them, and then they ask the question.

“How are you feeling?”.

For most people this question isn’t a big deal, and can easily be answered.

Me? I dread this question.

See I have Alexithymia.

What is Alexithymia?

Alexithymia is a deficiency in understanding, processing, or describing emotions.

You won’t find this word in the DSM-5, but that doesn’t mean that it isn’t a thing.

Alexithymia is very common among Autistic people, and possibly other conditions that I am unaware of, and cannot speak on.

Wait…

I originally posted this poem to my Archive of our own account.

Image by Skeeze on Pixabay

The thing about depression is,

you wake up one day with this voice in your head telling you

you’re worthless,

and you believe it,

because you can’t find any evidence

that contradicts what that voice

is telling you.

You know you shouldn’t listen

to the voice,

but bad things

have always happened to you,

so the voice had to be right,

didn’t it?

The thing about depression is,

you wake up one day

with this big hole in your heart.

The thing about…

How does a Child With Autism Understand Being Different?

I didn’t always know that I was Autistic and have ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyper-Activity Disorder).

I don’t have exact dates for my diagnosis because I was so young. I do know it was during childhood, but other than that, I have no time frame for them.

I was first diagnosed with ADHD when I was five. At least I believe it was five because I remember constantly being in trouble during Kindergarten because I couldn’t sleep during nap time because of Adderall.

When I was old enough to know how to read, I immediately noticed that I was different from…

So you’ve just met someone that told you your pronouns are they/them. Your first thought is: This again? They is for a group of people, not a singular person.

But here’s the thing, you use singular they all the time whether you realize it or not.

Examples:

Nobody in their right mind would do a thing like that.

We need a manager who is reasonably flexible in their approach.

My friend just told me that they’re pregnant. I can’t wait to find out the gender of their baby!

I want to ask my boss for a raise but I don’t…

Within the School Systems at Large, The Inadequacies, Ignorance, Lack of Empathy, and the Illegal Failure to Provide ADA Reasonable Accommodation for Autistic Students Results in Cruelties, Abusive Treatment, and a Hostile and Harsh Environment for those With Autism

Preface

Within the School Systems at Large, The Inadequacies, Ignorance, Lack of Empathy, and the Illegal Failure to Provide ADA Reasonable Accommodations for Autistic Students Results in Cruelties, Abusive Treatment, and a Hostile and Harsh Environment for those With Autism.

Dear Teacher, when you took my book away from my hands, you took away my coping mechanism in a world that’s too harsh for my senses.

Dear Teacher, when you punished me for reading during recess instead of running around, you punished me for using a coping mechanism to regulate my senses.

Dear Teacher, when you grabbed my chin and forced…

When I was child, both sides of my family disowned me. The only close family I had left was my parents. Because of this, I missed out on a lot of things that people with families had when they were growing up.

Things that I wish I had growing up as a child who’s family disowned her

#1 Media that didn’t talk about how wonderful family is and push how wonderful family is

Every single piece of media that I watched growing up had a huge emphasis on family, and how wonderful it is to have a family. How they would never leave you. How they would always love you, blah, blah blah. Seeing messages…