And other lies

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*trigger warning — racism*

In the wake of recent tragic events affecting the black community, I’ve seen a lot of posts (mostly from people whose standings are not affected by racism) exclaiming how they cannot believe that racism ‘still’ exists in 2020.

The reality is — “Racism is not getting worse, it’s being filmed.”

I was in primary school when I realised that being white would mean my life would be easier.

It might have been because I wouldn’t have had to face the detangler comb every Saturday, or it might have been because I noticed that my classmates perceived…


Memes are now a nostalgia-inducing subculture.

Doge (2013)

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Such WOW. I’m not sure if its the combination of comic sans and sarcasm that makes this dog appear condescending but I got into a strange habit of creating memes of my friends in this format. It works wonders. Also I fell in love with Shiba Inus after this and will not stop my obsession until I get the chance to take one for a walk.

Shouting woman and cat meme (2019)


Let’s face it, there’s only so much the two glasses of wine can do.

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  1. Troll your colleagues by swapping your wig mid way through the night. The starker the difference, the better.
  2. Spend some time listening to Mr Brightside and Britpop playlists on Spotify beforehand. The chances of hearing 808 drums during the night is a hard 8%.
  3. If you dare to go on the dance floor, be aware that you may be challenged to a dance off with a random black colleague who’s been thrown into the ring. People will be shocked because they thought you and the other black colleague were the same person.
  4. Also be aware that if a Beyonce song…

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If you, like me, notice a pattern of demotivation, loneliness and negativity around the winter months, you’re not alone. It is estimated that 1 in 15 people in the UK between September and April do too.

I spend a good chunk of November to March counting down to the Winter Solstice so the sun can do its magic and days eventually get longer . These months can be particularly lonely as you’re probably low on funds, the weather is uninviting and my skin has defaulted to a low energy shade of cold plantain. …


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Its been three years since I graduated from university yet it feels like a lifetime. From residing in a comfortable bubble to being thrown into the deep end with responsibilities at work; combined with actually having to start paying council tax. It’s a sticky one still.

The most significant change I’ve had to adapt to since finishing university is moving to a new city. I’ve done it twice now – Reading and London. The Big Smoke. Home of the “liberal elites.” but also one of the loneliest cities in the world. One in four Londoners feel alone.

At first I…


Naija no dey carry last

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There’s no denying that the Nigerian World Cup kit this year is wavy. So wavy that Nike managed to sell out after 3 million pre-orders. Those of us who were unlucky not to get our hands on any of the coveted shirts/accessories may have had to resort to alternative means.

It feels amazing to have my home country in the spotlight for a positive reason. Nike’s creative force enabled many Nigerian celebrities — from Wizkid to Yagazie Emezi to model the new kits.

As if this wasn’t enough, England announced they would be playing a pre World Cup friendly…


France’s citizenship gesture was nice but it further perpetuates the “good immigrant, bad immigrant” dichotomy

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I’m sure I’m not the only one who heard the story of Mamoudou Gassama. Or perhaps you simply saw him referred to as “Malian immigrant” as many news outlets reported. In fact it was quite rare to see an article that included his name prominently.

In case you’ve been under a proverbial rock today I’m referring to the incident where Gassama scaled 4 storeys in order to rescue a dangling child from a balcony.

Here’s an excerpt

Gassama has been lauded with praise since the rescue, with congratulations stemming from the very top in French politics. He was personally invited…


I did not come to church to find a husband.

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I’ve had a mixed relationship with the church. I, like many people with Nigerian parents didn’t have a choice. Eventually I made a decision to stop attending that particular church for my own reasons , although I’d still go back for events as I still consider it as my family’s church.

I started attending a ‘multicultural’ church where it’s great to not have an overriding Nigerian (particularly Yoruba) environment — I could call people by their first names and occasionally help to lead team during services. I didn’t have to adhere to the worst parts of conservative Nigerian culture where…


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It was a Friday and I was waiting for a friend in Stratford Westfield. I left a store, feeling particularly smug after bagging a jacket for a quarter of its original price. It was then that I saw two black boys walk past a black girl, I’m guessing they were all in their mid to late teens.

“Ugh that’s so skinny and DEAD!” One of them shouted whilst the other laughed.

I realised what was going on. The girl looked visibly upset and I shook my head at her, mouthing that she shouldn’t pay them any mind. …


In celebration of Friends coming back to Netflix, I’ve come up with some episodes to reflect the times.

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The one where Joey becomes a Trump supporter

Synopsis: Joey gets irritated that he still hasn’t managed to catch a break since he played Dr Drake Ramoray in Days of Our Lives. He begins to blame his lack of success to actors/actresses with a more ‘exotic’ look than him. We follow Joey as he goes to a Trump rally as he wants to make ‘America great again’.

The one where Phoebe goes on a BLM march

Synopsis: We always knew Phoebe would be the ‘woke’ one, having gone through a lot as a child and being able to empathise with…

Chinny Ukata

predicted A* in adulting

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