4 Mistakes Rookies Make When Seeking Out A Mentor

Henry Wagner
4 min readJan 15, 2017

You’ve heard the saying it’s not what you know, it’s who you know. And this can be true in a lot of instances. Especially, when it comes to the world of real estate. Now this doesn’t necessarily mean getting the best deal or having someone find you that perfect house. In fact, who you know can be important when it comes to finding a mentor to help you in your journey of real estate.

But, just like with anything else, finding a mentor isn’t as easy as it seems. There are a lot of tricks of the trade, so to speak that go into finding a mentor, and a lot of mistakes are made, especially by rookies, along the way. So, in order to help you in your journey of finding a mentor, we have put a list together of the 4 most common mistakes people tend to make when seeking out a mentor.

1. You aren’t clear on your goals before you approach your mentor

Knowing your goals is the real link to being successful in any form of business, especially in real estate. If you don’t know your goals or you haven’t even set any goals, you won’t go anywhere. So, it stands to reason that if you approach a mentor without a clear concise vision not only will they not be able to help you. But, more than likely they won’t take you seriously. If you’re going to approach a potential mentor you need to do your research. You need to be clear on not only what you want to do, but also what their expertise are. Because if you’re approaching a mentor whose expertise aren’t in line with what you want to do, they won’t be the mentor for you. Time is money, so don’t waste your time or a potential mentors time if it isn’t the right fit. Do your research, know your goals, and know the expertise of your mentor before approaching them.

2. Decide if you need a coach or a mentor

There is a big difference between a mentor and a coach. A mentor is someone who comes along and supports you, encourages you, guides you, and can be a resource to you. There typically isn’t any money exchanged between the two in this relationship. A mentor/mentee relationship tends to be more unstructured and is a “call as you need” type of approach. If these are all the things that you are looking for, then a mentor is for you.

However, a mentor is not a coach. Nor does a mentor want to be a coach. A coach is someone who is also there to guide you, support you, and be a resource to you. However, a coach is far more structured and driven by results. They will hold you accountable. Have practice sessions. And push you to new heights and goals. They want to help you win and not just support you. This relationship is not casual, and tends to be a paid relationship. If this is what you are looking for, then make sure you are seeking out a coach and not a mentor. Otherwise, if you treat your mentor like a coach it can be a surefire way to dissolve the relationship very quickly.

3. You get too serious too quickly

Just like with any relationship you have to take things slow. You can’t expect to ask someone you just met to be your significant other or to marry you. In the same way, you wouldn’t ask a person you just met to be your mentor. It can seem forward, clingy, and a little bit desperate. Instead, build a relationship with that person. After all, this person knows what they are doing, which is why you want them to mentor you. So more than likely they are going to be busy, because they are successful. Therefore, you need to add value to the relationship. Once you can add value to the relationship and you’ve gotten to know the person, only then is it appropriate to ask them to be your mentor.

4. You lack self-awareness, vulnerability, and commitment

In order to be successful mentee you need to possess at least 3 qualities. Those qualities are self-awareness, vulnerability, and commitment. If you are not self-aware or honest with yourself, you will never be teachable. Which is a very unappealing quality to a mentor. You also need to be able to be vulnerable. Meaning, you need to be able to be open, honest, and real with your mentor. You need to be willing to receive feedback and be receptive to their criticisms without taking it personally. After all, you asked them for their help and they want to help you. The final quality mentors look for is commitment. If you are not committed they will know. And they will see you as a waste of time. And as we said before time is money, which is something a successful mentor will not want to waste.

In conclusion, having a mentor is the real link to be successful in real estate. But, in order to get a mentor you have to be willing to stay the course and put in the time and effort it takes to be a good mentee. If you can do this, you will set yourself up for you great success in the real estate industry.

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