Tuhan itu memang adil.

Ketika aku berusaha untuk merangkai sebuah cerita yang berujung bahagia, Ia mengingatkanku untuk tenang dan tidak gegabah.

Ketika semua sudah terasa bahagia dan sempurna, diberikannya sebuah ujian agar aku lebih menghargai kesempurnaan itu.

Ketika kesempurnaan yang kukejar itu ternyata adalah sebuah kesalahan, Ia ingatkan aku untuk tetap membuka mata dan peka terhadap perasaan yang terbentuk.

Perasaan itu pun memilih jalannya sendiri.

Mungkin terdengar konyol — perasaan itu berlari, bersembunyi, berlari lagi, bersembunyi lagi, dan seterusnya — tetapi memang itu adanya.

Si Aku penakut. Tidak berani mengemukakan bahwa dia tidak pilu, karena Aku tidak percaya diri.

Lalu…


A little story of how I manage my money. (In Bahasa Indonesia)

Seperti pada storyku pada awal-awal menulis di medium*, aku terbilang cukup muda untuk lulus dari pendidikan S1 dan lanjut untuk bekerja. Dari pekerjaanku, aku mendapat cukup uang yang masuk ke dalam rekeningku. Posisiku sekarang adalah karyawan yang bujangan dan tidak memiliki tanggungan apapun, karena orangtuaku masih bekerja dan biaya hidup adik-adikku juga masih bisa ditunjang oleh mereka. Alhamdulillah. Namun, bukan berarti uang tersebut keluar masuk rekeningku untuk sesuatu yang tidak berguna.

*“How It Feels When You’re Too Young to Work at A Company” by Jezibel Alfiya: https://link.medium.com/e6H61BqXj8

Saat awal dapat gaji, rasanya kaget, karena ada sesuatu dengan jumlah tidak kecil…


Or just some of it.

A couple days ago, I told my friend that I’ve made a list consists of destination that I wanted to go next. These destinations placed on Indonesia and every continents in the world. I asked myself, did you really write and mean it? Then my brain said:

“Money will come if you want to seek of it, but not everyone could dream even for their own dreams,”

At that point, I got a flashback to years ago that I wasn’t brave yet to set this list. I was not sure if I would have money for it. I was scared…


Here I am.

Sitting on my bed, beside my sister who already enjoying her dream, and accompanied by a sleeping lamp and cold aircon.

I can’t sleep.

A song by Harry Styles’ fulling my room, played repeatedly, and fits with my blanket who warms me even the aircon still can beat that. While Spotify repeating the song, I write this post.

It has been few weeks that my mind ruined me, vice versa. Seems falling will be the right word for describing me. …


In case you wonder what exactly women live for.

In my country, we celebrate an important day at every 21st of April. Kartini’s day, that’s what we call, is the day that should be reminding us how woman empowered by Indonesia’s national hero, Raden Ajeng Kartini. When I was on school, students sometimes had to use traditional costumes. The higher the grade, students probably a bit forced to use that kind of clothes so the girls just wore Kebaya (Indonesian traditional blouse-dress combination — Wikipedia) and the boys? They ended up wore school uniform as I remember. …


/Written In bahasa

Pernah dengar kalimat “You can’t please everyone” atau “Kamu tidak bisa membahagiakan semua orang”?

Pasti sering. Apalagi ketika kita sedang lelah berusaha dan kadang kalimat ini muncul untuk sedikit “menenangkan”. Kadang, diri ini perlu untuk lebih concern terhadap hidup kita sendiri di atas kehidupan orang lain. Bukan berarti egois, hanya saja skala prioritasnya sudah berbeda.

Namun, kalimat indah ini bisa disalahgunakan untuk orang-orang yang harusnya bisa membawa kebaikan untuk sekitarnya, tapi malah cuek dan hanya mempedulikan dirinya sendiri. “Saya sudah bahagia, buat apa mikirin orang lain, toh saya tidak berkewajiban ngebahagiain dia juga,” kasarnya begini. …


Image for post
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2/366 days of 2020.

Location : Bekasi, Indonesia

Do you ever wish your first day in a new year will end up like picture above?

Neither do I.

For some people, new year eve should be celebrated with something fun. Either you throw some parties, hangout with your family, do a movie marathon, or just sleep like nothing’s happened. Everyone has the rights for scheduling it on that night. So do my family.

31/12/2019

I actually didn’t really celebrate it. I just wanted to make a barbeque night with my cousins and held it when it was the new year…


I graduated from a university’s undergraduate program at 20 years old. This number actually wasn’t very small for a fresh-graduate, because I know many students could graduate even younger than me at that time. But for me it might still resulting some benefits and losses. It was a really big deal of my life.

When I was about to graduate, the world was like interventing me for what I would take after the graduation ceremony. Should I took the graduate program? Became an entrepreneur? Or should I worked at first for my financial settlement? …


Actually this is not the only platform i have for writing about everything inside my mind. I’ve already have a blogspot, but it mostly fulled by poems and melancholic thoughts. Yeah, here i am.

I may write something that seems so happy, terrifying, or perhaps my opinion about unimportant things and maaany thoughts that sometimes can come and go *poof* just like that.

And we can discuss it later. Only if you want.

Soo, let’s do this!

Jezibel Alfiya

This author's developing herself when the writing's made. Will talk about everything in Bahasa Indonesia and/or English :)

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