Why it can be good if someone breaks your trust
What actually happens when someone breaks your trust?
Integrity has always been one of my core values. I like to tell a thing like it is. It’s so much easier to always tell the truth because then I don’t have to worry about remembering everything I say. On the odd occasion when I have deviated from this principle, I have always been found out.
The world has been kind to me by allowing this to happen, as it has taught me the best way to live my life.
Many years ago I married a psychopath. Before I discovered his true colours, I absolutely adored him. He could do no wrong in my eyes and in the early days of our marriage, life had a very rosy hue.
Some months into our marriage I noticed that he had become very fond of a co-worker. He spoke about her a lot and soon it became apparent that he preferred her company to mine. Push came to shove, they had some opportunities and I found out they had started an affair!
When I confronted him about it, he denied it vehemently and became aggressive towards me. He stopped talking about her, but they still had many opportunities to be alone in each other’s company.
Before all this happened I had been very naïve and trusting. I had always liked almost everyone and held others in high regard.
An aunt of mine told me I believed in others and what they said because I myself was a trustworthy person. Although this may have been true, it did not comfort me much.
In general, my belief in the goodness of people had been shattered and it would be a few years before I could bring myself to actually like and trust others again.
His behavior led me to look through a microscope at his family and everyone I had dealings with. I started cutting what they all said in half and no longer held any of them in the positive regard of former years.
Life seemed to hold many contradictions and was no longer as simple and straightforward as it had been. Moreover, I started keeping my thoughts to myself a lot more often, whereas before it had been a joy to bubble away and speak my mind.
This was life’s way of teaching me to grow up. Looking back, there were some very positive spin-offs from what happened.
I learned that for as many as there are “bad” people in this world, there are also good people. At first I worked this out theoretically for myself, but later on found it to be true in practice as well. As time faded the bad memories, I gradually thawed and allowed myself to enjoy life once more.
I became a better judge of people and who I could trust. I became a keen observer of others and my awareness grew in leaps and bounds. I became wiser a lot more quickly than I would have, had this traumatic experience never occurred. I learned to be grateful for the all the positives in my life and now even regard my failed marriage as one of the best things that ever happened to me!
Basically, I was able to turn a negative into not one but many positives. I would recommend the same for everyone else out there.
The lesson was very painful, but nothing happens by chance. Today I am in a winning position, thanks to ALL the experiences I have had.
