Post-Op Trump to Become First Woman President
As a child, long before her sex-change operation, our future first woman president Donna Jean Trump loved to play with dolls and wear lipstick and dress in mommy’s clothing. She was fascinated with the story of Christine Jorgensen who changed from being a man to a woman. Trump always felt like Daddy’s Little Girl and longed to carry a purse and wear high heels. Now the president-elect has decreed that she will no longer need a military officer carrying “the football”, because she herself will schlepp the nuclear release codes with her at all times in a large, stylish purse to be a major facet of the Trump monetization of the American presidency. Trump’s daughter will continue to show off diamond jewelry at all major international meetings, and President Trumpette will market Trump Number Five as a perfume and Trump Mink Coats and Trump Scarves and Handbags.
The White House will have two first ladies, Donna Jean as First Lady Number One and whatever wife is in effect at the time as First Lady Number Two. Certain visiting world leaders, such as Xi Jinpeng of China, will be advised to undergo the same sex-change procedure as The Donald and become the woman that they always were. It is too late for Xitler to have his feet bound into dainty little mince-moccasins, but President Trumpette looks foward to going shopping for shoes and dresses with the re-gendered Chinese leader, Lady Xi Jinping. Ms. Trump will also order the renaming of the J. Edgar Hoover FBI headquarters as the Jean Seberg Building.
Oh, how eager Trump is to stop taking testosterone and to stop pretending to be a man. Instead of putting his manhood on hold for four years like President George Herber Walker Bush did in 1988, our first woman president Donna Jean Trump will chuck manhood forever and live out the lifelong erotic dreams of being a natural woman. Eating Wheaties as a child and seeing Bruce Jenner on the cereal box, little Donalda saw the future Caitlin trapped in the body of a man. Trump envies the hero worship bestowed on Bradley Manning and hopes to win the real love of the people by becoming the female that he has always been. After the sex-change operation, Trump hopes one day to marry Robert DeNiro or Brad Pitt. Trump will invite his fellow cross-dressers the Seattle She-Hawks to the White House every year, whether they win or lose or even play in the Super Bowl. Madame Trumpette rejoices in the idea of attending foreign head-of-state funerals dressed in a black gown and wearing a black veil of mourning.
Donna Jean Trump hopes to put the detested, deplorable and failed masculine Trump behind her and to blossom out as the heart-throb object of male desire that she has always imagined herself to be, with her swishy way of walking and her limp handshake. President Trumpette will abolish the White House Press Office and make all official presidential announcements through her Twitter account. After serving as the first woman president, Donna Jean will go on a trimphant road show holding up the Torch of Liberty in the flowing female robes of a real-life Statue of Liberty.
