Travelling to Kerala?

Read this first

Do not convert holidays into pilgrimage with embedded cooks

Kerala is a destination each Indian wants to visit. The number of tourists in this tiny southern state has jumped manifold over the past decade. If you are habituated to book tickets from tour operators who herds you like a sheep, then this post is not for you. Please continue with your existing adjustments.

If you are planning a tour all by yourself, before you embark, please keep in mind Kerala should be divided into four parts. North Kerala where ideally you should land in Mangalore and return from Mangalore (Even Bangalore is also fine if you are good enough to travel a little more). Visit Coorg, Humpi (in Karnataka), Malabar, Vayanad regions. The second is North-Central Kerala where you get down at Kochi – Munnar – Thekkady – Aleppey/Kumarakom and back to Kochi. The third is South Kerala wherein your entry point should be Trivandrum. Here you can go to Varkala, Kovalam, Kanyakumari etc. There is a fourth one which very few tourist ventures. This is the central Kerala comprising of Quilon, Thenmala, Konni, Sabarimala, Idukki, Pandalam, Kuttanad and Aleppey. If you try to mix up all these, then you are sure to get stranded only in your vehicle day in and day out or in star hotels with nothing to see other than fellow tourists. Please remember, this advisory is only for Indian tourists whom I presume to know either Hindi or English to communicate. Foreign tourists may skip some of what I mention here.

1. Never book your holiday planner who says – Munnar – Thekkady – Kumarakom – Kovalam. If you are visiting for the first time, chances are that you may not know the distance between these regions. In Kerala, distances should not be calculated in kilometers, but on your watch. So if you are travelling 50 kilometers, consider 2 hours. And if it is a hilly terrain, escalate it to 3. I suggest you browse the internet and plan your own trip. If you have a friend from Kerala, take their help in distances. If you have a shoe string budget, then get into the bandwagon of others. Or still if you have time, research and find out some local tour operators and give them your plan and ask them to give you a quote. One of my friends is into these type of tourism. Check out Kerala Destinations. You can get more details from Kerala Tourism official site. Some self made ternaries are here which I made recently: Vagamon, Central Kerala and Athirapally.
2. Avoid touch and go tourism. 90% of tourists in Kerala do not spend more than 30 minutes at one place. Their guides are busy showing them the maximum places in minimum time. They consider you as a pack of sheep that can be herded at their will. Do not waste your time and money on these shepherds. Make your own plan and any place you like, stay for long even if you have nothing to do there.
3. Stop mixing pilgrimage with holidaying. If you are more interested in temples and churches, better plan it accordingly. Most holiday planners in north India and west India showcase temples to attract elderly and god fearing tourists. When you grow older and have spare time, do make visits as many temples as you want to. But during holidays enjoy the nature with your kids.
4. Most people fly to Kerala. Train travel is not only for the poor, but even for those who like to enjoy the nature. Konkan route from Mumbai to Kerala is a treat to watch even from your tinted windows of your train. It can not only be rejuvenating but a great refreshing experience for your kids. Since the route is passing through high mountains and tunnels, during monsoon, you may get delayed. Avoid the route during monsoon.
5. Please avoid embedded cooks to cook you the same food you eat at home. If you are doing this, you are doing a great disservice to your money and yourself. Travelling is experiencing the place, its people, culture and most importantly the food. There is a myth that Kerala provides only rice and that too with coconut oil. With the price of coconut oil touching roof, hotels have stopped it long back. With inundated tourist inflow, rice is replaced with wheat. Try tasting Kerala food. You have a lot of variety – vegetarian or otherwise.
6. The taxi drivers in Kerala are decent, well versed with Hindi and English and are well educated. Most they are post graduates and chances are the vehicles they drive are their own. The vehicle is well maintained and so do not spit your pans through the window. If you are decent to them, they will also be highly decent. But do not treat them as slaves as you do in other parts of India. They are your guide right through your journey. Treat them with respect and arrange for their stay and food. A good sleep for your driver will be safe journey for you.
7. Avoid big branded hotels on the way. The smaller outlets on the highways with the board “Meals Ready” may not serve you Malai Kofta or Navratan Korma but authentic Kerala food. They maintain their authenticity because it is cooked at home and the same home is converted into small time hotel. Yes, all these places get rice based meals. But there are places where you get Kerala Porotha served with meat or Green Peas/ Chick Peas Curry.
8. Have you ever tried monsoon magic of Kerala? Though Kerala tourism promotes it in a big way, you should experience it firsthand. Here is a glimpse of what I experienced very recently.

Kerala is slowly turning into a dry state. In what is seen as a populist measure purely for votebank, even Sundays will be holidays for bars. Though this is not tourist friendly, chances are you may not get your drink at your place and at your wish. Beverages Corporation shops have long queues. But your driver will guide you to shops with virtually no rush in small town areas. Pile up your stocks if you are a habitual drinker. Did I tell you, Kerala can be enjoyed without drinks?

So next time you plan your trip, do not mix Kovalam with Munnar. They are poles apart and if you are really keen on a beach near to Munnar, then go to Aleppey. Also never trust your travel operators with whom you will only enjoy bus rides and swimming pools. If you are keen only to do this, why travel so far to Kerala.

This is an original post and not a reproduction of articles published elsewhere