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Tingly Mind
Empowering life and relationship advice

Tingly Mind is an online publication that offers empowering life and relationship advice. Our content is geared towards women in general and heterosexual women in particular.

After all, regardless of gender, we serve the people who value security and stability in life. If you want to become a solid individual with healthy, meaningful relationships, you’re at the right place.

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I’m looking for writers with insight and passion.

In return, I can help you improve your writing and increase your chance of curation, which translates into views and earnings.

You’ll receive direct support from me, Ellen Nguyen — I have 5+…

No messing about

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As a young woman who wanted long-lasting love, I struggled to identify a man’s intention with me and ended up falling for guys who wasted my time and hurt my feelings.

Now that I’m happily engaged and have observed many successful marriages as well as failed relationships around me, I could see the real differences between a guy who’s only passing a time with a woman and a guy who’s seriously interested in her.

If you look up on the internet, people will give you many signs such as “he’s consistent”, “he makes effort”, “he’s committed to you”, and so…

The unexpected outcome of our open relationship

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Twelve months ago, my ex-boyfriend told me he was in love with another woman.

During the last 2,5 years, we had had an open relationship and started meeting other people as we wanted to give each other the freedom to explore our sexuality.

The relationship was in a flow; we were both happy having each other and getting to know new interesting people.

When he started dating a friend from university, I wasn’t concerned he could fall in love with her. …

Now I’m taking it back.

Wesner Rodrigues from

Your good morning texts used to have the power to make my day.

A simple smiley emoji at 8 a.m. could turn all my negative thoughts into glitter as my worth was validated by the sign of your interest in me.

When those texts went missing, however, I could feel my stomach sinking and anxiety crippling inside out my chest. I’d wonder what was happening, if I did something wrong, if I wasn’t good enough.

I would fall into the pits of self-doubt, beating myself over losing something which I didn’t realise I had never had in the first place.

How to become your own best friend

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I’ve had those days when I couldn’t even look at myself in the mirror. I didn’t dress up or eat healthily or take care of myself. I felt ugly, and I hated going out because, in my head, everyone else looked so good except me.

My relationship fell apart because it’s hard to love someone else when you don’t even love yourself. It’s a crazy phase because nothing seems good enough for you, no matter how “well” you are doing in life. After all, you always expect yourself to do more and more. Otherwise, you don’t see yourself as valuable.

Learn from my personal experiences

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Before going any further, let me just say that I do believe true confidence comes from within. The more I know myself and the more experiences I gain, the more confident I feel, regardless of my appearance.

But I would be lying if I said improving my appearance didn’t help my self-esteem at all. They did, especially when the physical changes I made don’t just have a vanity impact; they shape my lifestyle and my interactions with other people (you will see why below.)

Now, I will warn you in advance — these physical changes, while fairly common, are not…

Taking a dating hiatus saved me.

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Taking a dating hiatus was one of the best things I’ve ever done for myself.

It was a safe and pleasantly boring period for me to stabilise myself and look into my issues without the burden of new ones. It was tough, but it allowed me to start fresh from a place of strength.

I got to redefine what “being alone” meant for me and learn how to be single… or, you could say, be me.

For the first time, I felt okay. Contained.

Later on, when I put myself out there again and met my now-fiance, it was a…

My soul is satisfied.

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I would like to think I’m a deep soul, but when I was in my early twenties, my choice of partners was frustratingly superficial.

I figured that, while some parts of me had matured, many other parts were still naive and weak.

I knew what I should do, but I never did it. I fell for first impressions and instant gratifications. I cared more about having fun for an evening than serving my long-term interest.

Being attached to the wrong people for superficial reasons while having a deep, sensitive soul is a surefire way to torture yourself.

I couldn’t help…

Alcohol can cloud your judgments.

Photo by Victoria Priessnitz on Unsplash

Have you ever thought of someone you dated and wondered what you were thinking because there is no way you would be interested in them now?

And then you remember the blurry first date when you drank a little bit too many cocktails.

You loosened up; you flirted; you felt quite sexy; your body tingled; you became spontaneous. You found the person opposite you even more attractive. You left your date thinking you had a lot of fun and you wanted to do it again even though you hardly knew anything about this person.

In fact, later, you found out…

I’m glad I knew though.

Photo by Hannah Cook on Unsplash

A few years back, I matched with a guy on a dating app.

We chatted back and forth, and it was pleasant. Though, when it was time to schedule a date, it didn’t go quite smoothly. We both had to take rain checks due to different reasons. We ended up never meeting, and the communication fizzled out.

Sometime later, he contacted me out of the blue. We talked and he asked to meet me again. I was single, so I thought “Why not?” And it finally happened.

We met for a drink at a bar after work. At that time…

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