Reading Tarot When You’re Emotionally Vulnerable
When we think to draw cards and explore our thoughts, emotions, and whatever situation we’re facing, it can be easy to not think to pull when we’re having a good time. No, many of us end up turning to our cards when we’re staring straight at a brick wall, or worse yet, trying to frantically catch those bricks as they’re falling apart.
While I can sit here and preach, “You shouldn’t read the cards when you’re distressed!” I know we all break that rule. So I wanted to talk about ways that help me get the answers I need while not getting lost in the sauce of my desperation in trying to understand what the Two of Cups has to do with my financial problems.
When I use tarot, I like to use it as a tool to point me in directions I didn’t consider. We all get caught up in our own thoughts, and using these cards can be a nice way to be like, “But have you considered this?!”
But when we’re emotional — maybe just after a break up, a fight with a family member, an aggravating day at work, etc. — our biases can break through more easily, and disrupt that process. That’s why you typically see readers suggest to not read for yourself when you’re in a stressed state, if you should even get a reading at all. (Sometimes your brain just needs a break to process by itself!)
If we’re going to do a reading regardless, we might as well make it worth our while. Here are some strategies I follow when I’m in an upset state and reading my cards:
1: Take a breather! Give yourself a couple seconds or minutes to calm down. This pause can be important to help our brain rest, even if just a little, and refocus our attention. Spiritual readers may want to light a candle or incense to set the mood. Secular readers can do this too. Maybe mute your phone, close your door, give yourself this time for you.
2: Be forgiving with your expectations. Before you even touch your cards, know that you might not get the answers you want, or any clear answers at all. And that’s okay! Remember that you’re going into this already in an emotionally vulnerable state, so it’s going to be a bit of a struggle to read and hear your thoughts clearly. Being realistic with your expectations now can help ground you, and keep you from getting frazzled later if you can’t understand the cards.
3: Shuffle and choose the cards however you wish. I recommend a smaller number, no more than three, to lighten the load of the reading. Perhaps even start with just one card, and draw clarifiers if you really feel you need to — but do give that one card a chance to shine first! Sometimes it may be all that you need.
4: Don’t look yet! Before you flip the card(s) over, here are some things to consider: remind yourself of the situation, why you’re here, why you’re seeking out advice. Keep your mind open to whatever may come. Don’t start reaching out for what you want to hear or what you think you need. Try to set those thoughts and feelings aside. Those are your biases distracting you. You can address them later, maybe write them down first so you won’t forget, and then turn your attention back to the cards.
Alternatively, see if you can mentally place yourself in another’s shoes. You are not the querent and the reader, but just the reader. You will be giving this advice to someone who, just so happens to, have the same problems you are having.
5: Now look at your card(s). How you choose to read them is up to you. One by one, all at once, forward, backward, out of order, etc. The important part here is to meditate on what you see, and not what you know of the cards. You might want to take another few breaths to help calm your thoughts again.
If you just went through a break up, and see the Four of Wands, your immediate thought might be, “Celebration? What am I celebrating? This is awful, I don’t feel happy about this at all!” But push that aside. That is your bias talking. Give your brain (or spirit, intuition, etc) a chance to meditate on the card to take in advice that might not be strictly what the card’s bare bones stereotypical definition is.
What is happening on the card? Who is there? What are they doing? Are you one of the characters on the card, or are you observing them? What colors do you see? How does it make you feel? What if you flip it upside-down, how does that change things? Maybe this Four of Wands is saying not to celebrate that it’s over (unless that works for you!), but to celebrate what you had, your growth as a person. Perhaps it’s “home”, and that you should focus your thoughts and energy on stabilizing the ground beneath your feet by seeking out things that bring you homely comforts. Maybe you see figures on the card, joyful as they share their time together, and it reminds you of your friends and loved ones, how supportive they are of you? Perhaps you should reach out to them for guidance or love?
This is just one example, of course, and this can take practice. It’s easy to pull out the Nine of Swords and have just as much of a panic as the figure in the card! But there can be more beneath the surface. Or things could be very simple! While stressing over a bad day at work, the Nine of Swords could simply be bluntly saying, “Listen, if you don’t get your ass in bed and get a good nights sleep this instant — !”
6: Write everything down! Record this reading in some way. In a traditional hand-written notebook. Maybe take a picture and type up some notes in a digital journal, or talk it out in a voice recording app. Find some way to get your thoughts to paper. What card(s) did you pull? What was your first instinct for what they meant for your situation? (Ideally figure this out before looking up what any card means. Give yourself a chance to analyze it before potentially biasing yourself further!) What thoughts did you have after meditating for a while? What advice might you give someone going through this? How can you turn this advice into productive action?
7: And finally, rest! Give yourself a break, especially after difficult or intense readings. Drink some water, have a snack, do what you need to do to relax at let your brain process things as peacefully as possible. Because you recorded your thoughts, you can always come back to them later for whatever reason. And I would also suggest not drawing your cards again, most especially on the same situation, for a little while. Let yourself digest this reading.
Be patient, be loving, and be respecting of yourself.
What methods do you use to help you read tarot when you’re stressed or upset? What do you think could help you read when you’re feeling vulnerable?
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Thank you for reading! I hope to continue to blog about tarot, mental health, and similar topics. Feel free to follow, or support me on Ko-Fi.
-LR🐇
