OHANA (3)
As I return to Japan from summer break, interactions shifted from the physical space of the kitchen to the digital space in our smartphones. Upon returning, Ae (Chanon), Ae (Pongpong) and I exchanged our Facebook and LINE. For Ae (Pongpong), she uses messenger to communicate with her family, and also to stream videos online. MeanwhiIe, Ae (Chanon) uses LINE. It was unexpected for us to use these platforms to talk to each other until we started sending each other photographs. This is perhaps one of the first time I’ve ever exchanged contact with them- it has always been only phone numbers that were used for calling for errands.
From the beginning of November, Ae left to Myanmar for two weeks to send Chanon off to live with his grandmother. As Chanon began to walk, it became difficult for her to take care of Chanon while she was working. The last time I got to talk and see Chanon was through a LINE video call, which was through my brother’s phone.
November 26, 2019 10.51am, Nuey sent a photo:
Sometimes, Ae would reply to me with stickers. Other times, she would send pictures of Chanon in Myanmar. On the 26th November, 10.51, she swiftly replied to my message with a 11-second-long voice message.
November 26, 2019 10.51am, Chit Lay sent a voice message:
“โห น้องเนย สวยจังเลยอ่ะ…อยากไปจัง…น้องเนยรูยัง ว่าพี่สอนจะกลับบ้านอ่ะ”“Wow, Nong Nuey, this is really pretty! I want to go and see….by the way, did you know that Sorn is going home?”
November 26, 2019 10.54am. Nuey sent a voice message:
“เมื่อเช้าม๊าก็เพิ่งโทรมาบอกเนยเหมือนกันอ่ะ เนยไม่รู้จะทำไงดี”
“My mom also called me this morning… I don’t know what to do.”
November 26, 2019 10.57am. Chit Lay sent a voice message:
“แต่พี่ก็บอกเหมือนกันนะว่า เอ้อเขาเป็นคนที่อารมณ์ร้อนไงใจร้อน เวลา เหมือน เวลาเขาอารมณ์ร้อนนิดๆหน่อยก็จะไปก็ปุ๊ปป๊าปอะไรอย่างงี้ พี่ก็บอกเขาเหมือนกันเวลาเราใจร้อน ทำอะไรก็ผิดพลาดได้ทั้งนั้นใช่ม่า ตัวมันก็จะระบายเองพี่ก็บอกเขาว่าอย่างนั้นนะ”
“I told her too.. Oh, she’s like someone who’s very hot headed, like…when… when she’s heated up she’ll just go just like that… I also told her that when we become emotional, we tend to do things on the spot and we make mistakes…(if you leave it for a moment) you’ll feel more relieved… that’s what I told her.…”
In fact, she was the second person who had told me about this unexpected news. At around 9.10am on the same day, my mother texted me on my personal LINE that Sorn was planning to leave. This news came by unexpectedly, and nobody was able to figure out what happened to Sorn. It was only that night when I got to call my little brother, thatI took the chance to ask my brother to pass on the phone to Sorn, who was coming out from her room. The conversation ended within a couple of exchanges.
“ไม่มีอะไรหรอกน้องเนย ขอบคุณนะคะ ขอบคุณมากๆเลย เห็นน้องเนยบอกว่ามีทำการบ้านไม่เสร็จพี่สอนเลยจะอยู่ช่วยต่ออีกก่อน เดี๊ยวพี่ไปรีดผ้าต่อก่อนนะ เจอกันตอนปีใหม่นะ”
“It’s nothing Nuey… Thank you, thank you so much. I heard your homework is not done yet, so I figured I’ll stick around to help. I’ll go and finish the laundry now. See you this New Year.”
Polymedia
Ae and I exchanged messages through voice mail, for she couldn’t read in Thai, nor I could read in Myanmarese. This has been the first time for me talk to someone via voice message- it was a strange experience that could not be re-enacted in any other forms of digital interaction.
I felt quite uncomfortable.
Perhaps the nature of the content had been offsetting. Unlike how I can “laugh” while I type as a text message, or express my feelings in a sticker, voice mails can encapsulate my emotions through my voice. Unlike direct calls where I can naturally bounce off the other’s emotions, it was difficult to naturally react to a photograph or text message that has been sent 30 minutes prior.
Perhaps this may show a glimpse of how media technologies have changed the way I communicate online. It may have shown how easy it has to become to “react” and show signs of acknowledge to our conversation partner, yet, many things couldn’t be said when we are physically together.
The more exchanges I made online, the more complicated it became. My experiences coincides with the term “polymedia”, coined by Mirca Madianou and Daniel Miller which explains the use of digital media as an environment which is ‘multifaceted’, in which ‘the users exploit these affordances in order to manage their emotions and their relationships.’(1) The web of exchanges that I had with different individuals from the family revealed tendencies each member of the family had with their digital devices. This includes the exchange I have with Ae, from images and voice mails, to the direct calls that I get randomly from my father, as his eyesight is hindering him from typing long messages. With each person who I have been developing different kinds of relationships with, we have established our own polymedia environments. As I exploit the affordances and the possibilities, of the different media choices available before me, we together slowly find our ways where we both feel comfortable.
“Homework”
This might have not been the magic word that makes the both of us feel better or gain equally, but it has definitely been something that enabled us to consider what my relationship with Sorn. When I initially asked Sorn to be part of my graduation project, neither of us have thought about it deeply enough to be something that has a long-lasting effect to the relationship. However, the word was interpreted by her as “homework”, which, at the heart of the situation turned into a “promise”. My “promise” with Sorn would have been unfulfilled if Sorn had left.
Although it is still difficult to pinpoint what the word means to me, or the word means to her, it was an important word that had enabled us to hold onto our relationship a little longer. If anything, it may have suggest an element of our relationship that is not “family” nor “business”. With that in mind, I anxiously waited for the Winter break to come.
(1) Madianou, M., & Miller, D. (2013). Polymedia: Towards a new theory of digital media in interpersonal communication. International Journal of Cultural Studies, 16(2), 169–187. https://doi.org/10.1177/1367877912452486
