I believe that polyamory is the most significant revolution currently occurring on the planet. Any important revolution arises due to an awakening from an old belief system that no longer works for everyone. Though many will never desire to stray from monogamy in this lifetime, polyamory offers an honest alternative for hundreds of millions of people who would rather not have affairs or suppress how they truly feel.
The goal of this revolution is to gain awareness and acceptance. The more people who understand this lovestyle, the more likely we will be able to create compatible communities. If you would like to advance this revolution, I would like to offer four suggestions that will help the cause.
1. Overcome Any Residue of Shame
“Group think” perpetuates itself through power in numbers. If you fear being judged to the point that it prevents you from experiencing the kind of life you want, it is important to understand that there is no shame in loving more. Some people may attempt to get you to doubt yourself because they are threatened by your beliefs. This is normal since those embracing an established paradigm understandably fear change. Even if you are simply trying to gain acceptance for yourself, people often fear that change represents a threat to their own sense of security. Of course, more poly people on the planet won’t limit anyone’s ability to be monogamous…it will only reduce those who pretend to be monogamous while cheating or suppressing their true identity.
If you want to become an advocate for honest loving, and believe that you are polyamorous…you should feel good about yourself for making this brave choice. Breaking away from what Carl Jung referred to as the “herd mystique” is an incredible challenge due to our innate desire to fit in. Becoming yourself holds great rewards, but your ego may try to hold you back unless you have transcended any lingering feelings of shame.
2. Come Out of the Closet
As we have learned from the LGBT movement, social change can happen more quickly when you personally know people in your life who represent a minority since it is easier to judge a stranger. If the people in your life who authentically like you are aware that you’re poly, they’ll be much less likely to judge the lovestyle. Some may even empathize and see aspects of polyamory within themselves they have been afraid to acknowledge.
There may be some people who would have an easier time accepting you as a cheater than as poly. This simply reflects the outdated belief that cheating is “normal” but honest, open relationships are wrong. Such a perspective is insane when you shine light upon it. Living transparently is always a more congruent choice than trying to sneak around behind your lover’s back. People who cheat don’t allow their partner the ability to make choices about whether or not they’d want to stay in the relationship if they knew all the facts. Removing someone’s free will through deception is an incredibly fear-based way to go through life, and has nothing to do with love.
So if someone to whom you reveal your true identity judges you, give them a chance to respond to your reasoning. If they can’t support who you are, you’re probably better off without them anyhow. The only version of community worth forming in your life is one that is supportive of your truth.
3. Show Yourself On the Web
One way of helping others understand that poly people are just normal human beings is to grab your phone or camcorder, and make a video about your thoughts on being poly. YouTube is a great way to introduce your thoughts to other people who are open to learning more about polyamory.
It can be a little scary to reveal yourself to the public, but I’ve found that it is also empowering, rewarding, and can even be a way to meet people with similar thoughts. I’ve created a Polyamory Playlist in case you’d like to watch the videos I’ve created that address this topic.
4. Write About It
As I’m doing in this moment, writing about polyamory is another great way to spread awareness. Start a blog and/or utilize social networking sites such as Facebook and Twitter. There are currently more ways to express yourself than at any other point in history. Every time you share about who you are, you solidify your identity, and help others open their minds to accepting diverse ways of loving. You can check out some examples of my writing about the topic of polyamory at my Blog and my Facebook Page.
Again, if someone can’t accept who you are and is obnoxious about it, you can always block them. The fear of not being accepted is a large aspect of what keeps a movement underground. There is absolutely no reason for experiencing more love in one’s life to be anything less than a commonly accepted part of society. Therefore, we are living at a point in time in which more honest polys must find the courage to express themselves. Every time the truth comes out, Earth becomes a less fearful place to live.
Check out Chris’s (pen name, Mystic Life’s) book Spiritual Polyamory
Intuitive Guidance - Ethical Sites at LiveReaders.com