Feeling Deflated

I am tired of people using me and taking the piss. Let’s take my half sister who has recently lost her mum. She gets in touch with me when she needs a mandatory reconsideration letter for PIP, she is late to wish me a happy birthday and we make plans to meet for a coffee, then she cancels on me yet again because of an appointment she was reminded of at 7.15 in the morning. She has a large household.

Makes me wonder if some people just don’t want to be around me. And yet what if her mandatory reconsideration letter is not upheld in her favour, and she’ll be texting me yet again — that’s when I am most needed by her. It hurts. I don’t get much to look forward to with taking care of my allotment in the week and caring for Grace, and I look forward to a nice coffee and a cake, so I feel used.

I am tired of putting out pleas on the world wide web for help with my website, New Promo Codes, and being sucked in by yet more fraudsters who take my money and do nothing, or get laughed at by the bigger SEO companies who wash their hands of me because I’ve only a small amount to invest every month. I get cold emails daily of companies telling me that they can put me on the first page of Google. Where the hell do they get my email from?

I feel so deflated. I hate the competition of life. I wish money was evenly distributed. I wish the Governments of the world were honest with people about their agendas, even the agenda to rule the world, or turn nations into communist states. Just be honest, Labour, instead of using the legacy media to name call anyone right wing or racist who expresses a shred of morality and righteousness. I wish that everyone had a garden in which to grow their own food, because it sure feels good to watch those seeds germinate.