If Only

A brief sojourn into the land of “what if”

Ashley Peterson
Oct 12 · 1 min read
Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

If only…

If only being around people wasn’t so hard.

If only I could care about the things that, at least intellectually, I would like to care about.

If only I wanted to spend Thanksgiving with family like “normal” me would; or at the very least, if only I thought that it would be tolerable.

If only depression didn’t get in the way so often.

If only I didn’t have this stupid illness.

But…

But it is. I can’t. I don’t. It does. I do.

But I can find things to be grateful for every day.

But I have a home that is comfortable and secure.

But I have five little furbabies whose adorable faces bring light to every day.

But I’m doing the best I can.

And really, that’s what matters.

Ashley Peterson

Written by

Mental health blogger, nurse, living with depression. Author of Making Sense of Psychiatric Diagnosis and Psych Meds Made Simple. https://mentalhealthathome.org

1 Minute Reads

Short posts 100–300 words to inspire, uplift, and encourage others. Contribute as much as you like. I aim to publish within 72 hours. Thanks for your interest and welcome on board.

Welcome to a place where words matter. On Medium, smart voices and original ideas take center stage - with no ads in sight. Watch
Follow all the topics you care about, and we’ll deliver the best stories for you to your homepage and inbox. Explore
Get unlimited access to the best stories on Medium — and support writers while you’re at it. Just $5/month. Upgrade