Audacious Angel
Sep 10 · 2 min read
Photo by M.T ElGassier on Unsplash

I was always in an administrator role before I ventured into freelance writing. It was 2008 and I had a mortgage to pay. I had just quit my job after being spoken to like a piece of shit by two managers, and I remember crying myself to sleep wondering if I should be feeling so stressed. I pretty much ran that joint, with most of the people (including managers) having sick days.

The first writing job I managed to get was ‘top secret’ at $10 per article. It wasn’t particularly pleasant stuff to write about, but it paid the bills for six months. I remember at the time thinking that this job wasn’t going to last. I remember telling myself that something would happen, or they would eventually get rid of me.

Anyhow, I proved myself within the first two weeks and the manager started giving me other people’s deadlines to meet, on top of my own. I was working into funny hours, but I wanted to impress.

When that day did come — the company became insolvent and they had to get rid of me, I had told myself that the job wouldn’t last, or that something would happen, and I felt okay with it. It’s not a healthy way to think to always fear the future, but nothing has changed. I expect failure. I still fear what will come, or what may come and it creates terrible anxiety that I have no control of.

1 Minute Reads

Short posts 100–400 words to inspire, uplift, and encourage others. Contribute as much as you like. I aim to publish within 24 hours. Thanks for your interest and welcome on board.

Audacious Angel

Written by

A sensitive cat with depression, anxiety and OCD. I love jigsaw puzzles, 80s music, documentary films, independent cinema, HIIT, and sudoku.

1 Minute Reads

Short posts 100–400 words to inspire, uplift, and encourage others. Contribute as much as you like. I aim to publish within 24 hours. Thanks for your interest and welcome on board.

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