Why is it that when you already are feeling stressed out with life, that everything seemingly comes at once. Today my car failed its MOT. Last week, I caused a collision on the A1 and I have third party claims against me and I can’t stop stressing. I’ve started smoking again after quitting for over two years. I’ve started skin picking again, when I thought I was in remission after therapy. The withdrawals were horrible. Screwed up my relationship with my fiance after hundreds of times, so I think he’s finally tired of my shit. This is why I think I’ve got borderline personality disorder, as I’m constantly scared of being abandoned. I feel like I’m nothing — literally. GP just said it’s my personality, and the psychologist said they won’t make a diagnosis after the therapy, so how the f*** am I meant to get better if it is my brain that is causing my struggles?
Doctor gave me beta blockers, but they make me so drowsy and when I sleep in the day I can’t get to sleep at night, so then I’m knackered the next day. I’ve ordered some ashwagandha pills, but how long will they take to start working for anxiety? Why does everything come at once, sometimes? I don’t get it. I ain’t a strong person and now I just feel guilty and ashamed to rely on these unhealthy behaviours again.