Audacious Angel
Sep 11 · 2 min read
Photo by nikko macaspac on Unsplash

Why is it that when you already are feeling stressed out with life, that everything seemingly comes at once. Today my car failed its MOT. Last week, I caused a collision on the A1 and I have third party claims against me and I can’t stop stressing. I’ve started smoking again after quitting for over two years. I’ve started skin picking again, when I thought I was in remission after therapy. The withdrawals were horrible. Screwed up my relationship with my fiance after hundreds of times, so I think he’s finally tired of my shit. This is why I think I’ve got borderline personality disorder, as I’m constantly scared of being abandoned. I feel like I’m nothing — literally. GP just said it’s my personality, and the psychologist said they won’t make a diagnosis after the therapy, so how the f*** am I meant to get better if it is my brain that is causing my struggles?

Doctor gave me beta blockers, but they make me so drowsy and when I sleep in the day I can’t get to sleep at night, so then I’m knackered the next day. I’ve ordered some ashwagandha pills, but how long will they take to start working for anxiety? Why does everything come at once, sometimes? I don’t get it. I ain’t a strong person and now I just feel guilty and ashamed to rely on these unhealthy behaviours again.

1 Minute Reads

Short posts 100–400 words to inspire, uplift, and encourage others. Contribute as much as you like. I aim to publish within 24 hours. Thanks for your interest and welcome on board.

Audacious Angel

Written by

A sensitive cat with depression, anxiety and OCD. I love jigsaw puzzles, 80s music, documentary films, independent cinema, HIIT, and sudoku.

1 Minute Reads

Short posts 100–400 words to inspire, uplift, and encourage others. Contribute as much as you like. I aim to publish within 24 hours. Thanks for your interest and welcome on board.

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