DAY 91: The Familiar Stranger
By Manon van Hoeckel (designer) and Tom Loois (designer and co-curator of the Embassy of Intimacy), Natlab Eindhoven, the Netherlands, 26 October 2017
The aim of our workshop ‘A Familiar Stranger’ was to explore the role that designers can play in familiarizing ourselves with the people around us. We discussed to what extent our social norms are bendable and if they are, what should they look like? We shared some examples and asked: can a designer create a new ritual for encounters, ‘the handshake of the future’? We believe they can!
The idea that it’s important to question your own reality through encountering the realities of others is several centuries old, but surprisingly enough still very topical. According to Dutch sociologist Cas Wouters we are amidst a process called informalization in which social hierarchy, social codes and etiquette’s continue to erode. In the absence of these codes we need to rely more and more on our empathy and social skills in order to connect to one another. Recently we came across an article in Dutch newspaper de Volkskrant about ‘the overview effect’, a phenomenon occurring amongst astronauts at the moment when they have seen the earth from outer space, at that point they experience a strong sense of connection with our planet and all its inhabitants. Researchers are currently attempting to recreate this effect through VR. However, rather than resorting to fictional realities, the works of van Hoeckel and myself attempt to nest themselves within, and thereby reinventing our daily lives. A good example is Booijmans Wassalon by van Hoeckel for which she created a Laundromat in renowned museum Boijmans van Beuningen in Rotterdam. To attract people who never visited the museum and to create a space where they can come in contact with one another. This work functioned like a ‘trojan horse’ luring visitors in with the possibility of washing your dirty undies while inside it would be almost impossible to not talk to other people within this pop-up laundromat.
Another example we shared was an episode in a recent podcast series Luisterruit which van Hoeckel and me made for the Dutch Railways (NS). The second episode is about ‘the other’ and consists of various items and interviews but it also incorporated an audible flirting course in which the listener is triggered, challenged and coached to contact strangers.
What binds the works of van Hoeckel and me is that they aim to create legitimacy to talk to others. This can be explicit like a task or assignment, or inexplicit like a creating a space or context. My father, who travelled a lot for his job, gave me a strategy to not feel lonely while on a trip. It’s quite simple: go and obtain a trivial object of your liking. By coming up with this quest it legitimizes you to ask questions (do you know where I can find?) start conversations and ringing a doorbell (I heard that you..). Because of this reason those encounters don’t feel silly anymore.
During this year’s Dutch Design Week I worked together with MU Artspace in curating the project Embassy of Intimacy. Through the means of 15 works from various artistic fields we explored the (in)possibility of human connectivity. Visitors could expect a service by The Secret Cookie Factory that collected and redistributed secrets amongst visitors. Touching upon privacy but also celebrating the joy of sharing our most vulnerable stories. Dealing more with physicality in the public realm was the work Gewenste intimiteiten (wanted intimacy), which trough the sudden appearance of #metoo became very actual. In this work Circus Engelbregt and Marjolijn Zwakman created stickers reading ‘please touch’. With a small team they would stand at the entrance and sparking a conversation about consent and the role physicality plays in our encounters with others. Victoria Romp also explored our scripts around physicality in her work The Caravan. Julian Hetzels work The Economy of Waiting dealt with a one on one encounter with someone, when met in the street, you would be walking by. Lauren McCarty in 24hour Host explored the scenario of how artificial intelligence could optimize a cocktail party with strangers.
After the introduction we had a discussion about the need to meet others and the legitimization we need to do so. We questioned how we could learn from the social dynamics around smoking or facing bad weather and found out that this has to do with a sense of equality, a reference point you have in common. Further we brainstormed about what intervention we would do for the Dutch Design Week 2018. Ideas ranged from Design rides that only drive while people in it are talking (we would have to look into some some safety issues) to idea’s how visitors of the DDW dare not only to look at the design piece in front of them but also to really look at those wonderful people standing next to them.
Manon van Hoeckel Tom Loois Embassy of Intimacy)
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About 100 Days of Learning
Age of Wonderland 2017 presents 100 DAYS OF LEARNING, a global learning event to exchange valuable life experiences with peers. Doers and thinkers from around the world — innovators, scientists, engineers, artists, designers, social entrepreneurs — are invited to share their personal stories, ideas, and practice, not to be found in textbooks. Aim is to rediscover knowledge, challenge beliefs, and exchange life lessons with others. To make the world a better place, we need to embrace change on an individual level, and inspire others to do the same.
