Day 12 — the one on regrets and being in our best shape
“Clearly” Grace VanderWaal
“All the roads I’ve been before”
“Same mistakes always got me shakin’”
“And all the signs I once ignored”
“In my denial, I didn’t want to face them”
When I go hiking, I don’t like paths. I always try to diverge because I like going into the wild. To get lost if possible. If I take a perpendicular direction from the actual trail, even better. The further it can lead me, the better.
I guess that really shows me how I take in life decisions as well. Impusilveness may have been a big factor in many of the decisions. Since I started living independently, the following freedom allowed me to do things in a whim. And I mostly think that they weren’t mistakes. That’s because the impusilveness also comes along with a very clear goal and a huge need. Like when we need water or food, I needed to do something, to change course of action.
At the same time, I also took some decisions that I regard as mistakes. I regret making those decisions. And my whole body does shiver thinking if I would have chosen differently, imagining the possible outcomes.
I don’t think very often that you can actually make mistakes when deciding on life because as I discovered later, it doesn’t matter which paths we take — if we know where we want to end up.
But with regrets, it’s like they’ve become engraved in my memory.
The regrets for me are sticky like chewing gum. I’m so attached to the idea that I could have done something differently, like when you can’t get rid of chewing gum. So I’m stuck with the imaginative idea of another self.
“I can see clearly now”
“The rain has gone”
But I’m in the liberating mode. I’m starting to see past that and release that imaginative alter ego.
And when I manage to see past it… It’s like a whole new range of emotions is waiting for me.
When we are in our best moments we know it. We have a clear vision of what drives us; without imagining ourselves doing it but actually taking the steps to do so. Like climbing infinite stairs dancing and singing this song. Knowing that the stairs don’t have an end but that doesn’t matter.
When we find the recipe of our lives. It’s like unveiling a masterpiece. It’s like the chef Ratatouille’s fireworks when discovering a new taste. Maybe it’s not something that is still very defined, but you’re on the right trail and you know it.
“I accept all the things that I cannot change”
“Gone are the dark clouds”
“The dawn has come”
When we understand ‘letting go’ and turn to the things we can control. That’s like exploding with one finger the bubble we’ve been living in. The mix of healthy energy and knowing that it’s my responsibility to feel good is the best feeling I could ever have had. And I want to repeat.
I want to release the regrets and face them to tell them goodbye.
“It’s going to be a bright, bright sunshiny day”
Thank you Grace V.
For me, with some songs, the moment and the circumstances create the best set for a personal concert. Every time they bring me a better understanding of myself or of the world so I want to remember that. (The best way to read this story would be to listen to the song in the background at the same time) (and this is of course a complete personal interpretation of the song)