Day 9 — This one was a call
“Love Looks Like” Art House
What a quest. I really liked to think that I was ready to love (even before really loving myself) but I hadn’t yet really figured it out. And I say it like that because that’s where it all starts really (with loving ourselves).
We live waiting for that moment that we meet someone special. I was waiting most of my adult life at least. But we’re so missing the point… in my humble opinion. Before having a boyfriend myself, I remember I heard from a friend who was feeling empty (besides the amazing loving boyfriend she had by her side), and somehow that concern stayed with me. It’s a ruthless emptiness that we need to fill ourselves.
“I wanna know what love looks like”
Now that I’m in a relationship… it is not the idealistic thing I thought it would be. It can be confusing and boring, and it can hurt, and it can be surprisingly rewarding and warm in your heart.
So that’s why I still think, I may not know what’s really to love.
What is to love? What is it for me? Cause that’s what matters in the end. In my Catholic school, there was a thing we would go through in Religion class. It was called “Relativism”, and it was not good. Cause it meant that everyone could have their own truth. Well, in the light of learning to actually live life in a fulfilling life, I do think that it is crucial that everyone finds their truth. Finds what they love.
How come that only after having someone who loves me, it’s the only moment that I can give myself time to love myself better? It’s only now that I’m giving myself time to discover what are the things I like to do, what are the things that I enjoy doing in my free time.
I wish that I would have started this quest earlier on but I am as happy to have started it now. Cause hey, at least, I have started it. Maybe only when the right person is beside you, that’s when we can take our next step.
“Open the eyes of my soul”
I’m a curious person but I should have dedicated far more time to know what I wanted. And oh man, is it dusty in this ol’ attic of my soul… not many people have come in here — I haven’t let them or I haven’t really invited anyone — but more shamefully not even myself.
“Don’t let me let you go” “Open the eyes to my soul” “I need you to show me” “What love looks like”
I listen and I hear it as a calling to continue holding on to the company that is making me see myself.
For me, with some songs, the moment and the circumstances create the best set for a personal concert. Every time they bring me a better understanding of myself or of the world so I want to remember that. (The best way to read this story would be to listen to the song in the background at the same time) (and this is of course a complete personal interpretation of the song)
