Keeping up the momentum

Staying motivated when shit gets difficult

With the recent losses we’ve experienced recently (the death of two family members and a neighbor), we found it hard to stay motivated at all to keep writing. It’s pretty hard to fault us that. Right?

But we’ve somehow continued to muddle through this experiment, using this project as a way to collect our thoughts and write about our feelings, or to dig deeper into academic topics as a distraction. We all grieve in our own way.

There were some nights where I definitely didn’t want to write anything because I was too overwhelmed. Sometimes I wanted to write as a way to parse out my emotions. Some nights, like tonight, I feel meta, and want to write about writing. Through it all, I know that writing is what keeps me on track. If I skip a day, it makes it that much easier to want to skip the next day. If I say, “Oh, I’ll just write two pieces tomorrow,” what are the chances that I’ll actually do it? It’s hard to stay motivated when it all feels like too much.

But still we persist. We’re typing together in the office, David and I, side by side on the couch. It’s 10 p.m. and we’re tired and burnt out and emotionally exhausted. We’ve the maelstrom called life has been upgraded to a shitstorm, and all we can do now is ride it out. Take it day by day. Tous les jours à tous points de vue je vais de mieux en mieux.

And so then, even if it winds up taking more than 100 days to get through this challenge, I’m happy that we took it on. I’m happy that we didn’t abandon it when things went from bad to worse. I’m happy that we’re doing this together and that we can motivate each other to keep up the momentum. Most of all, I’m just happy to keep writing.


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