Almost midnight

I just missed a train home. My feet are killing me and they’re wet from stepping into a puddle few minutes ago. Running after the train in the middle of December warms you up a bit for, only to drop your comfort winter temperature below what you feel it’s bearable.

I sit on the floor inside the train station, but I realize I feel like a bum. I’m not going with this. The station will also close in a half an hour. I stand up and walk outside. Winter breeze is honestly quite nice, it clears your mind, your nose, opens up your hearing and you can feel the whole city aligned with your heartbeat.

As I walk further away, I start thinking how am I going to get home, or at least where I’m going to sleep. My phone way stolen, I have no money for a hotel and that train was, well, it was the last train today that I missed. Next one is in six hours, early in the morning. What am I going to do till then?

I go through my backpack for a cap and I find my cigarettes. It’s been awhile since I’ve smoked. I’m still walking down the once busiest street in this city, now almost abandoned.

In ten minutes I’m in the middle of a main square, near the river, in front of the church. It crosses my mind that maybe I should just go inside. I try, but it’s locked. So I stand there for a minute or two. I remember cigarettes again.

I stand in the middle of a square, my mind still, everything looks and feels peaceful. I finally light a cigarette. God, it’s been a long time. The smoke rushes through my mouth, in my lungs… I inhale for the second time, this time deeper that it almost burns in my lungs.

It feels good. Good like you’re in hell, when the pain is almost a pleasure and the fire inside you warms you. Between heaven and hell maybe.

That out of the world feeling last only for a minute. My hands are getting cold. My cheeks feel frozen, my whole body almost shivers. I need to get somewhere warm. I need to call somebody. Wait, I don’t have a phone anymore.

Than I remember her. I haven’t seen her for ten years. She used to live nearby. Is she still there? Alone? I turn my eyes in that direction. Should I go there?

A bit of memories and imagination on 49th day of my 100 Days of Writing Challenge. I think I could continues with this…