Reality is OVERrated

I can never get to him, he is a mystery and I ain’t as tempted to solve it as I should be. He has a pure heart, he is a man who does what is right, which sometimes makes me cringe.

Sometimes I feel him being overpowered by acting decent and actually wanting to act like it. He has a little wisdom behind that forlorn exterior. His eyes don’t give away anything, that’s why I oftenly ask “what?” when he’s looking at me. He, on the other hand, always asks me: “why are you looking at me like that?” and I ask: “like what?” but the answer never follows.

What is it with him?

I can never tell.

Once in a while, I deliberately don’t touch him to see how long it’ll take him to touch me. Does he even want to? Or is this one of those convenient relationships that has nothing to do with original, substantial feelings that makes you FEEL something???

It’s not my reality anymore. He became more of a wondering for me. He is all those questions in my head I don’t bother to pay attention to; he is all those inexplicable (or perhaps empty?) glances; he is my first orgasm with a man; he is this SEEMINGLY caring person you don’t actually see caring much; he is a decent cook who eats everything with plain yoghurt; he is a lost soul and I wish I could help it somehow; he’s a guy who plays basketball in the middle of the night; he loves his family a lot but he wouldn’t want a marriage like his parents’ (“they argue a lot”); he’s the guy who I danced bachata with at Zuri Fäscht; he’s a Greek God, or at least his body looks like that to me =) lol (a bit skinny God, but with a very nice bum)); he’s a 30 year-old Iranian guy who has never been in love.

And I wish I could change that.

I wish he could make me feel.

Reality is over. Now it’s a mirage, an expert based on real life person with not-so-real emotions.