Day 34: The benefit of the doubt.

Often times, people aren’t even aware of the pain they have caused us — much less the extent to which it continues to pervade our lives. What might happen, then, if instead of holding a past grievance against someone, you simply gave them the benefit of the doubt?

Consider the following verse:

“Forgive them, for they know not what they do.”

— Luke 23:34

Whenever when I’m feeling unsure about a situation, or unhappy with the way that something went, I take a few deep breaths and repeat it to myself until the words have settled in. Perhaps the most important part of it for me is simply the realization that other people aren’t capable of reading my mind — and that, unless I specifically outline my thoughts and feelings on something, it isn’t fair for me to assume that the other person automatically understands.

This seems like a fairly straightforward thing to do, and it certainly seems like it should be obvious, but it’s something that many of us are often quick to overlook. It’s easy to get into the mindset of, “Well, they should know what they did,” but what good does that do? And, more importantly, how often is that really the case?

Rather than instantly jumping to the conclusion that the other person understands your frustration, do your best to give them the benefit of the doubt — that is, to consider the possibility that perhaps they don’t understand, and then react accordingly.

Take a few minutes to sit with your thoughts, paying special attention to the things that have been troubling you lately. As you do, ask yourself if there is any possibility that the people you’re upset with might not be as aware of the pain they’ve caused you as you might have thought. What might happen if, rather than assuming that they were, you simply gave them the benefit of the doubt?

With love,
— J