21. Five Reasons to Ignore Advice

“If God wanted us all to be alike, he would have given us wings.”

I just made that up. The photo made me do it. In real life I tried to instill in my children (when they will still young enough to listen) and in my students (who had no choice but to listen) the idea that different is good, that you don’t have to fly with a flock.

When my six-year-old daughter announced that she wanted to be a truck mechanic, I encouraged her to follow her dream. When my 17-year-old son decided to postpone college and join the Army, I signed the authorization.

At the time, I was a college professor in Puerto Rico with a fresh Ph.D. and a love of learning. My colleagues were channeling their children into the respectable professions: medicine or law — or, as a last resort, higher education. There were no other socially acceptable paths to success.

What did I want my children to be? Happy. Capable of making their own choices. Able to fly alone. Both eventually got degrees, found their way into positions they enjoy, married compatible partners and raised independent children of their own.

Five reasons to ignore advice? I don’t know. Maybe the best advice is no advice at all.

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