22. Why I don’t make friends easily anymore
Up until my mid-twenties I could make friends with somebody pretty much where ever I went. Not that I would randomly just walk up to people and ask them to be my friend, that’s just a bit weird.
However if I was out with a group of friends and one of them brought along another person whom I’d never met I would invariably go out of my way to make friends with this person.
However nowadays I am less welcoming, and it makes me feel bad sometimes.
I could be with a group of 10–15 people and not speak to 3–4 of them if I didn’t already know them and they weren’t sat near to me. Of course if they were sat close by I would engage with them, but if they were out of conversational distance I wouldn’t make the effort to go and speak with them.
I think it’s because I already have a good set of friends whom I’m very comfortable with and I don’t have enough time for them as it is.
It’s also a hassle to make new friends. You have to spend time and energy being all happy and conversational until you reach a level where you are comfortable to just sit without speaking or till the banter is effortless. It’s hard work reaching this stage of a friendship and I just can’t be bothered with it any more.
Does that make me a bad person?
What if you had the courage to only do the work you love?
How much happier would you be? What separates the people who have the courage and those who don’t? Vulnerability. Accepting that they’re good enough to do the work that gives their life meaning.
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