#29. The RULES of the R̶O̶A̶D̶ Sidewalk, Staircase and Escalator

New York City is a walking town. New Yorkers walk a LOT and there are a lot of New Yorkers who walk. So it wouldn’t be far-fetched to assume there are guidelines in place to help manage the ebb and flow of foot traffic.

But alas and alack there are not.

So what is it that keeps us all moving in harmony? Because the possibility has to exist that should something go awry, we risk complete anarchy — think ants at a picnic when a stray piece of fruit finds the grass.

While stemming the tide of pedestrian collisions is a noble goal, the real reason I’m choosing to illuminate the ill-informed about the ways of the city is to clamp down on those pesky salmon who swim upstream and inhibit the movement of the masses.

There are unwritten and unspoken rules that create a certain force that keeps all of us in balance. And that is:

Foot traffic mimics automobile traffic.

Being that we live in America, we drive on the right side of the road. So if we extrapolate meaning and project it to walking, this means we also walk on right side of the ̶r̶o̶a̶d ̶sidewalk.

Thankfully most New Yorkers do this. But there are the occasional few (folks who don’t know or tourists) who end up on the wrong side of the block. But if we all work together and spread the word, great things can happen.

And passing? No turn signal necessary, but make sure once you pass you get back into your lane as quickly as possible because there my be others behind you, or you may impede oncoming traffic in front of you.

This morning as I was emerging from the subway, I was caught behind two women.

The woman who occupied pole position was a little bit older and laboring. The woman behind her and directly in front of me decided to make her move and pass her. Only she couldn’t generate enough thrust to get ahead. And that left my path to victory blocked. I had to wait for these two women to navigate the entire length of the staircase.

Well played, women.

All in all, I probably lost about 45 seconds of my life waiting for this scene to unfold, which was significant for me because I had a very important hair appointment that I was running late for.

Apropos of passing, we finally get to touch on escalator etiquette.

Thankfully, escalators go in one direction. So one might imagine there’s little to take issue with. Again, too positive a thought process.

Escalators exist for two reasons: to help folks who can’t navigate stairs (although there are usually elevators for them), and/or to help expedite trips. And therein lies the issue. To help expedite trips.

When able-bodied folks hop on an escalator, there are two choices for them. They can either position themselves off to the right and stand there like a moving tree, OR they can make their climb, which would then happen at an accelerated pace and occurs on the left side. (The same rules apply to the moving sidewalks in airports, etc.) Get it? It’s a simple live and let live relationship. Until some numb nut decides to stand next to their travel partner and hold up an entire army of thoroughbreds waiting for the gates to open.

There are commuting options for all, so I think it’s important we all make a concerted effort to obey and teach. And then bald folks won’t have to be late for hair appointments.