3 Ways to Become a Better Listener
BY NICOLE CAYER
We are a society who gets distracted easily. It can be difficult giving something or someone our undivided attention. Without giving in to distraction. We can get distracted by the sound of noise, a small movement, and the people around us. Often, without realizing, our biggest distraction is what’s going on in our minds.
If I’m sharing a story with someone, I can usually tell right away if that person is not listening. It could be a quick glance at their phones or an abrupt interruption. How about an unwelcome topic change in the middle of your story?
Isn’t that frustrating? Sharing important stories of your life, then realize that person is not listening.
I’ve been in sales and marketing roles over the last 10 years. Listening is a big part of being successful. I learned how to listen by keeping these three ideas top of mind when I’m conversing with someone.
Keep Eye Contact
I had found when I focused on making eye contact with the other person; I naturally paid more attention. By doing this, it reminded me I was speaking to a human being, and it encouraged me to be respectful and mindful. Focusing on eye contact helps you to not look at other things in your surroundings. Furthermore, you can learn a lot about someone just by looking in their eyes.
Be Present and Forget Your Agenda
Do your best to not think about “your stuff” while the other person is speaking. Don’t think about what’s going on in your life, what you did, or what you are going to do next. Just listen and don’t worry about what you are going to say next.
At times, I found myself thinking about how I was going to respond, which in turn affected my listening skills. I’d miss something and have to ask the person to repeat what they said which made it so obvious I wasn’t listening. It was embarrassing.
Having an Intention
During meetings, I try and listen with intention. I enter the meeting with the mind frame I will have to share this information with others. By doing this, it makes me pay attention a little more. I make many mental notes, and I will often ask questions to clarify. In the business world, offering to summarize the meeting will work too, as this will force you to listen.
Listening is such an important part of social relationships. It doesn’t matter if you’re looking at your personal life or your business world. It will only benefit you if you learn to master the act of listening.We all want to be heard. Effective listening can have a positive impact on our social relationships.
You never know, you might learn something new. Better yet, you might have a real opportunity to help someone. Simply by listening.
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