[97 of 100] Kick, Baby!

[Note: I started keeping a diary when my wife and I began trying to have a baby. I’d like to share some of it here.]

May 13, 2017

My wife’s started to feel the baby kicking inside her belly. Amazing! I wanna feel, too! Unfortunately, every time I put my hand on her belly, the baby stops moving. When the hand goes away, he starts kicking again. At first I was offended, but I understand why he can’t help being weary of me.

The baby is literally with my wife 24/7. He hears her voice all the time and knows who she is. Me? I’m just the weird thing that keeps rubbing up against his “house” and bellowing unintelligibly. I tried put myself in his shoes. What would I do if a giant monster started rubbing up against my house and shouting, “WAZA WOOZLE RIZZLE POP!!! WAHAHAHAH!” I’d probably freak the hell out, too, and sit absolutely still in the hopes that the monster would get bored and go away.

I get it, baby. You keep on kicking for mommy, and I’ll keep doing my best to familiarize myself to you so one day you’ll kick for me, too.