[98] Christmas Wish List

Dear Santa,

I’m writing this very late, I know — or actually, I’m very early and asking you for a few things at Christmas 2017. First of all, please let there be a Christmas 2017. As Trump is miraculously bringing back the ability for people to say “Merry Christmas” whereas before the warlock-Muslim Obama (same difference, youknowwhatImean) had an evil spell that prevented people from saying nice things to each other — I also have this fear he’s going to commoditize a holiday about celebrating the birth of a Jewish Palestinian Socialist named Jesus and turn it into a day all about consuming shit, wrapping it up in shit, and opening shit that you don’t need or can’t afford and that doesn’t even really make you happy.

Wait.

Santa, we need a miracle.

Cyrena