Back to writing again
I’m in this awkward position right now after being laid off from my job. I knew I wasn’t going to stay for long and that I wanted to find a better place that aligns more with who I am and what my values are. But I forgot what it feels like to be either looking for a job and how frustrating that is, or working on some experimental or fun project for myself and how it’s so hard to keep the motivation and work going when there is no deadline, no outside pressure, no nothing. It’s all on my own pace.
I had a mixed feelings about being laid off. For one, it didn’t feel as bad knowing that the company was downsizing and I was one of many to be let go, so it wasn’t about performance. I felt liberated in a way; If I had quit, I would have felt like a quitter, because I’ve done that before.
For another, I felt sorry that I neglected a lot of valuable things that I care about outside of work in my last few months. And now that I’m no longer there and it was so easy to be let go, I feel that it was such a mistake to put all my energy and focus on only one thing in my life. Knowing that one thing is not mine anyway.
I got too comfortable and relied too much on the job that I didn’t put much effort outside of that.
Mistakes were made.
In the future, I won’t let a job consume me too much for too long that I can’t have a life outside of it. I think we all shouldn’t put all eggs in one basket. Not only because when we lose the basket, we lose everything, but also, having multiple sources of motivation and inspiration in one’s life is imperative to living an exciting and creative life.
Let’s write again.
