Day 15: Always running late

So I’ve developed this habit of getting stressed every time I am going to an appointment, be it visit a friend, to pick up the kids, catch a train, go to a doctor’s appointment, etc. I always end up leaving so that I’ll be around 5 minutes late. It’s like my time calculation software has been programmed to make me 5 minutes late.

When I rush, my stress response gets turned on. My jaw and neck get really tight. It’s become so engrained that even if I’m on time my body still goes into the stress response.

What have I done to challenge this? First of all, a few weeks ago I stopped wearing a watch. This helps a lot. It stops the inner voice from saying, “OH MY GOD I”M LATE! YOU IDIOT” Instead, the inner panic voice loops with thoughts like “maybe I’m late… but maybe I’m not… Maybe I’m late, maybe I’m not… etc” This derails me a bit from the panic.

I figure the panic response comes from wanting approval from others. To challenge this I tell myself that maybe I’m just the type of person that is always late. The people in my life just have to accept it. Another thing I do is try to be in the moment, even as I’m rushing to get to a place on time. So I repeat the phrase “THIS moment”.

The problem has definitely become exasperated since coming to Germany. Before moving to Germany I was always a little late. It was annoying for myself and others, but I wasn’t going against cultural norms or anything. The average German is mostly always on time and everything starts on time.

Does anyone else struggle with being chronically late and getting stressed about it?