Emotional maturity?

What I should tell him:

Being dismissive and passive agressive for me is much easier than being honest. But here I am. Trying to be honest.

It’s not enough for me. Once a 3-day-period “hi.how r u?” It’s not enough. It never was, but when I was still in Switzerland it wasn’t a big deal, cause we always had our weekends. Now, when I’m far away, it’s not sufficient. We don’t talk. We barely text. I barely feel. Except when a thought of you nags my mind when I’m in school, when I have to concentrate and study. I understand you’re busy and I’m busy and we are all sooooo busy, but my thinking is that if you want, you can find 30 seconds to write a sweet message to the person you care about. I guess, it’s harder on me than it is on you. But in the end, it doesn’t matter, if you don’t have the urge or desire to do this — you have to tell me. If you want to end this — you gotta tell me. I bet you know by the way I text how I might feel, but I don’t think you realize why I feel like that. Also, I’m a girl. I need attention. And what does it cost to take 30 seconds and write me something? I might be BUSY at school, or sleeping or in a club somewhere on the other end of the planet, but I’ll be happy to hear from you.

We’re in this together and I try to be an adult here, though I’m far from one. I freak out a lot and I need someone to keep me on the ground, someone to calm me down and tell me that we are gonna pull through. Or not. But in that case, just leave me and let’s forget about it.

I wish I had the courage to tell him this

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With people I care about, that is what I do, — wait till the last drop to tell something that bothers me, torments me and even haunts me. But that one’s not about him at all.

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Previously

1–2–3–4–5–6–7–8–9–10–11–11–12–13–14–15–16–17–18–19–20–21–22–23–24–25

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Thank you for reading,

xo

N@t