Day 6: I wish
Wishful thinking here I go
How much more appealing it is to “wish” rather than rejoin reality?
In any case, for me it’s more about being sad and depressive because people don’t seem to understand me. Or my situation, or how hard it is being me.
People don’t even try to put themselves in my shoes, all they do is : judge, judge, judge.
Though I enjoy an occasional drama or scandal to ponder on and relish in, I’m not the person who likes to live in it constantly.
I go from being an innocent Bambi to actually causing real damage to the people I never wanted to hurt.
And I’m the bad guy, or at least I feel like it.
Why do I feel like it?
Perhaps, it was a lack of action on my side when it was time for it.
I argue now, I express my opinion NOW, but what if NOW is too late?
What if NOW is just another excuse for not doing it before?
Why haven’t I done it before?
Why didn’t I stand for myself? Why did I let people treat me like that?
Why do I keep putting myself on a “victim’s” place?
I gotta change
- I wish I was smarter
- I wish my boss would understand me right now
- I wish people would stop being such hypocritical bastards
- I wish I was more beautiful
- I wish I was more of a badass
- I wish I knew what I was doing with my life
- I wish I was famous
- I wish…
So many things
And not a lot of those I can change
I’m trying to let it go by speaking the truth, by expressing what I think
Only to hear nothing on the other end
Maybe I just need to talk it out and let it go
And maybe I will at some point
After that, I’m gonna stop wishing and start doing or resume the “I don’t give a fuck” attitude
Thank you for reading,
xo
N@t
