Do Not Protest Too Much
That which you deny so vehemently will come back and bite you in the ass
The Universe has this annoying habit of bringing us things we swear up and down we’ll never accept, sending us to places we say we’ll never go, and lining us up with people we are certain we can never love. I think it’s part of some cosmic reverse psychology scheme to help us come face to face with our own prejudices, false assumptions, and erroneous beliefs. It’s extremely obnoxious. And also entirely necessary.
When I was looking at colleges, I was determined NOT to go to a certain school. I visited various colleges around the state and then agreed, begrudgingly, to visit that school with my parents. To my horror, I fell in love with it. Not only that, but they also rolled out the red carpet by offering me a scholarship and a stipend for an on-campus job. I remember thinking: What the hell? Is this some kind of cosmic joke? I had always been convinced I would end up somewhere else, anywhere else. Instead, I did a complete 180 and registered for classes at that school as soon as I could. Damn. Universe, 1. Meredith, 0.
When I was in my 20’s, I decided at some point that I would never be interested in someone religious because I don’t consider myself religious. So along came my Bible-loving, church-going Southern Baptist boyfriend, right on cue. I was surprised and humbled to learn that I could love — really love — someone whose beliefs were in such direct contrast to my own. The Universe brought me face to face with my own preconceived notions about other people and also about myself. And while we aren’t together anymore, I am richer for having been with him, Bible and all. Lesson learned.
Several years ago, I went with a friend to a personal development workshop just outside of Chicago. We had reviewed the website for the workshop thoroughly beforehand and had noticed that the preview videos showed people at the workshop dancing. Real dancing. Crazy dancing.
“I’ll go,” I told my friend. “But I sure as hell am not dancing!”
“Me neither!” she declared. And off we went.
Sure enough, there was dancing. Dancing we couldn’t get out of. For the first two minutes, it was pure hell. And then, around the third minute, it was awesome. I was shocked! I’d always been extremely clumsy, awkward, and totally lacking grace. But it didn’t matter! This kind of dancing was dancing for the joy of it, and it was fantastic.
So that leaves me to wonder: who would we be without the bullshit beliefs we carry around? Maybe the things we have such strong (and perhaps irrational) reactions to are the very things that will help us the most.
