Humans, empathy, and simulating other people’s experiences

In the book, The Mind Club, by Daniel Wegner and Kurt Gray. There was a part in chapter four discussing how we as humans simulate the world around us. How we use this simulation to experience the world of people who are close to us, empathize with them, take an action to reduce their pain.

But other times, we take no action at all.

The chapter goes by putting an example that goes similar to that.

Imagine you’re walking by a pond, wearing a fancy $800 suit that you just bought, and while you’re walking you see a drowning child. Should you save the child even if doing so will ruin your expensive suit? You likely wouldn’t hesitate to dive in.

Now imagine a different scenario. You’re walking down the street after your pay day, when you come across a charity camp that tells you $20 will save the life of an African child. Chances are, you would keep your money and let the child die. Even though saving the child costs a fraction of the cost of the suit.

Why the difference?

Empathy evolved when people lived in tribes close to each other. We mostly care about the visible suffering of those we know. People who are similar to us and their minds are easily simulated. But people who live far away, with different religion, race, life experience, are difficult to simulate their minds. We don’t have enough inputs for an effective simulation to play an effective role of making us feel them.

Simulating the mind of a poor Muslim farmer is hard. So we care very little when he suffers.

That’s why charity organizations try so hard to represent the minds of those who most need help but live so far away that makes it hard to care for them. Charity highlights their hopes and dreams, their similarities to you, so that we can easily simulate their minds, feel their suffering, and decide to help them.

The poor Muslim farmer may be living so far away in a different continent, but he likes to drink his cup of tea in the morning, and gets annoyed by his wife when she yells at him. Just like an American man would.

Proximity is such an important factor that affects our empathy for others. When we don’t have enough information and inputs, we find it hard to simulate other people’s minds, and therefore we decide they are not worthy of our help.

The Mind Club is an excellent book that goes deep into the human mind and how we perceive other minds around us. Minds of friends, enemies, animals, and even robots. If you’re into psychology, you will enjoy a good read.