I am competitive but I hate competitions

I have unfollowed people because it brings out the competitor in me. By that I mean the self-loathing person who doesn’t feel enough and ask, how am I different?

It is not them. It is me.

I am bad at arguments. I always walk away. We will talk when we stop trying to have the last say. Chances are I will still say okay. We were born to win. That’s how we were born in the first place.

I hate work place competitions. Hate, I was told, is very strong word. I hate racing up the corporate ladder. I prefer my own — store-bought or self-made.

I dropped Psychology in university when I realized it was very competitive.

I hate unregulated and assumed competitions where we are always one-upping each other, making assumptions and making asses of ourselves. Why one-up each other when we can give our best?

Why run two steps ahead when you are the best runner and you can run strides ahead? What if you are not made to run?

Two years ago I made the decision to leave the corporate world to take on an apprenticeship. I wrote to my future self, from here on you are out of the “competition”. You can never compare yourself to your mates or anyone else because you are doing something so different. And if you return to the corporate world, you will start from the bottom and you still cannot compete with anyone. You are out of the competition.

That is the best thing I have ever done. No matter the current consequences.