I choose me

Something great happened to me yesterday.

Fabulous and unexpected as it happened amidst the darkness of a family tragedy.

When life takes an unwanted turn, everything is dropped to help others. Tears are shed, hands are wrung and why is asked over and over. In this desperate time people turn to whomever is next to them and the rational flies out the window.

Even in a tragedy, jobs need to be done. And everyone plays a role. I play a role, my sisters will play role. We’ll support those that are closest to the loss today, tomorrow and in the years to come.

So when I was asked to travel a long distance to do a task that anyone could do, I immediately said yes of course. I’ll arrange for the kids to go somewhere and I was going to run off.

And then I stopped and thought about it. Is this the best way to use my time? Would my family members most in mourning care if I couldn’t do this? Or would they expect me to do what’s best for me and my children?

So I said no. Politely, respectfully, I offered to help with something on another day that suited me. And after 15 seconds of feeling guilty, I felt liberated (with a hefty dose of sadness).

That night, I did something else where my children could help. And whilst sad, it was appreciated and the right thing to do.

We get taught lessons in the most expected ways and I’m grateful I learnt it. Thank you.