In The End Life is a Sad Movie -188

Shihab Uddin
Aug 9, 2017 · 3 min read

I woke up today with new hope, but all those hopes kind of evaporated pretty quickly.

Stress —

My brother has been sick, my mom too. My brother is in fever, also he has ulceritis colitis and schizophrenia. He is not talking or taking food for few days, hopefully I will hospitalize him tomorrow. My mom has chronic psychosis too and she think I am killing both of them giving medication or taking to doctor. Had some fights with her on pursuing to take medication.

My elder sister is also sick, She had a miscarriage lately but she is not willing to accept it. Her leave ended from school, her supervisor called me to do something but unfortunately she is not willing to accept it, she still thinks herself pregnant. Had round of conversations with her supervisor and my brother in law, they are also not willing to understand she is mentally sick or can not accept the truth mentally.

Left alone me, My bank called today about my savings scheme deposit which was delayed last month and they fined me for that. They took the fine from my another account and asked me to e-mail about that with an application attached. But I was so stressed that I asked stupidly about the e-mail address is in capital or not, How Stupid I was, damn!

Every month I pay my rent on 10th, last month it was delayed because I wanted to be sure about funds availability, this month my landlord sent his caretaker to ask about it prior, I felt a little bit weird about it. Although I had a conversation with the landlord evening about it and it seems okay.

My aunt called to snob and make fun of my current status, I was hospitalized for two times for seven days in last few years, none of my relatives called to know about me, but recently they have been starting to call me and make fun of my struggle, snob about it. I know I have achieved much more than all of them in my career so far, but still when people find out you are failing everybody takes the opportunity to snob you — Its default human nature.

And finally I had a lots of plans about the day, I have only managed to materialize 20% from that — I called my elder uncle for consolation in the evening, it seems he is too busy with money and etc, I mean he is more interested in the money conversation.

Anyways Life happens — Its a sad movie, we have to fight in it every single day, there will be good days, bad days or worst ones, no matter what We just have to thrive whatever it is, thanks to my friend Rajib, Shuvankor ,Shafin vai, Faisal vai, Co-worker Imran for consolation.

I am lucky that I have been surrounded by awesome kind hearten people with whom I can open up myself and share about all my struggles, find consolation.

I know very well the time lost in stress or anxiety totally lost, but I don’t know why I cannot keep myself away from Stress.

Do I think too much or do I worry too much ? I guess, I am, I am trying to be better at managing stress, trying to be a better human being every single day.

May be tomorrow will be a little bit better or worse, I don’t know, I am just trying my best to become a better person, a better human being bits by bits, every single day.

100 Naked Words

Est. May 2016. 100 vulnerable words, one day at a time. Every day.

Shihab Uddin

Written by

Analyst, Writer by Heart and Activist|Shihabu@outlook.com

100 Naked Words

Est. May 2016. 100 vulnerable words, one day at a time. Every day.

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