Lessons Learnt In Solitude

There was this time when i used to be a very social person. I had my head in every other activity going on in college and my feet in social programs outside campus. I thought the more people i knew the less lonely i’d feel and the more I’d learn. It took me quite a while to realize that i was wrong.

There came a point when crowds and large group gatherings started exhausting me. Having so many people around made me feel surprisingly lonelier. It came to a point that staying home with a book became a preference over going out on parties or hangouts. I started enjoying my own company so much so that I felt anxious if I couldn’t manage to take out some time just to sit by myself. I learnt better by being on my own.

Now, I believe time spent in your own company with no outside distractions is a time well spent. Whenever I feel overwhelmed by the problems life throws at us, i know stressing about them wont help. Finding a corner somewhere to sit in silence and gain a perspective over everything helps me handle things better. I’ve learnt a great deal about life by staying by myself, contemplating on things.

Solitude lets you get to know your own self better. It makes you aware of your own thoughts, emotions and actions. It inspires creativity. You formulate your own beliefs and discard much of what people instilled in you. It teaches you who you are when others are not there to describe you.

What usually happens is that while trying to run away from “loneliness” we fall in the company of people who are toxic to our lives or we find ourselves in relationships that make us lose our identity.

I used to wonder why the wise sages and hermits chose a lifestyle of living alone.Maybe this is what made them gain a broader perspective and helped them realize what truly matters in life. In our times, its a little different, we cant just drop off everything and go live in the mountains or some far away forests to get away from the daily pressures life puts on us but we can take some time out to recharge ourselves so we can deal better with them. To me solitude is a safe haven that has helped me define my own self without the reference of other people.

I have to agree with Schopenhauer on this,”A man can be himself only so long as he is alone; and if he does not love solitude, he will not love freedom; for it is only when he is alone that he is really free”.