Letter #24: The road to success is dangerous —here are 7 traps to avoid
I’m currently on my road to success. I don’t really know where it’s going, but from what I’m doing on a day-to-day basis, I’d like to think I’m moving in the right direction.
Here are seven traps I’ve fallen in in one way or another. By sharing them with you, hopefully you might be able to avoid them and stay on your road to success.
- Overnight successes take years to set up — if you have been on the Internet for any length of time, you would know that there are a lot of people promising to have the shortcut to success. They weave mystery and magic through their words, making you believe in their make-believe claims. If there’s one thing you take away from this Letter, it’s this: overnight successes take years to set up. We’re good at emphasizing the success stories. The problem with this is that it almost always takes away the years and years of boredom and sacrifice to get to that point.
- Don’t spread yourself out too thinly — For much of my adult life, I’ve fallen time and time again into the trap of trying to do it all. My mind works against me and presents ridiculous arguments making me panic and suffer from FOMO. As recently as today, I have had to fight off this urge and focus on a key one or two aspects of life. It’s a real honeypot of a trap, this one. The spoils go to the one who focuses and executes huge on a powerful idea — not guy who gives a half-hearted effort on 10 things.
- Success is sentences of failures, punctuated by successes— don’t think otherwise. If you’re failing, you’re doing the right thing. The wrong thing is to be doing nothing, in which case there’s nothing being written, meaning you’ll never get to the end. When that success does come, realize that a new sentence of failures will start after it. Here’s the kicker though: after a while, you’ll be able to determine how long or short your sentence of failures will be — but your story has to be filled with enough failures first.
- Comparing yourself to other people will destroy you — I’ve compared myself to other people all through my life. I used to think I had to do that to stay humble. Now I realize that it’s not only unnecessary, but detrimental to going on the right path to be successful. Everyone’s on their own path. No matter how similar it seems, yours is going to be different from your best friend’s, brother’s or sister’s. Use them for inspiration, but quit with the comparison. It may make you resentful and want to quit — for good.
- You have plenty of time — It’s never too late — This is one of the worst traps that I’ve fallen in. Again, I persuade myself that if I’m not successful by the time I’m X years old, I’m a failure. That “X” has been 25. Now it’s 30. Only recently though have I questioned whether there should be a hard limit. There are so many unknown factors that contribute to success. Setting an age to be successful by detracts from the “real” goals — writing a blog, going to the gym, making connections — things that you have 100% control over. Have the self-discipline to set goals that focus on these and you might very well find that your “age” goals will be achieved anyway.
- You can give up —just make sure it’s not the last time. I’ve given up so many times on things that it’s embarrassing. The most recent time was this year for something that I told myself I wouldn’t give up on. If I was better at setting goals, I would make them bite-sized. It’s good to think big, but all big things are formed over time. A mountain doesn’t just fall out of the sky. Maybe you’re like me and have given up too many times to care. Just make sure you’re looking for that angle, approach or perspective that will work and stick with it (that’s the hardest bit of all).
- people might be born talented, but they’re never born special — want to know what’s special? Working on something for years, by yourself, with no guaranteed exit plan in sight. People who have built apps that have become used by millions of people or people who have written books over years aren’t any smarter or better at writing than you and I are. They were more determined to see it through to the end.
Please give a warm welcome to:
If you have fallen into these traps along the way, don’t despair. It’s never too late to change. Remember that failure is part of the process of success.
Til next time,
-J.
