Look Away from the Pretty Things
One of those home decor stores lured me in with a sign yelling Big Sale, 50% off, End of Season, and so on. I love a good browse. Just a few minutes to fritter away, I went in and picked up a mug. It felt just right between my hands. Perfect for tea. But the cupboard at home overflows with such things. I moved on and touched fabrics, clocks that appeared to work, breakable things, bookends, shelves, cozy chairs. All of these things are in my home already except that they are stained or threadbare or just a little bit broken.
And I discovered that the looking wasn’t making me feel good. It was creating a need; I was comparing and wanting and disliking what I have. A nasty little feeling, like Gollum hissing away within, precioussss thingsss. If I were to pick up that beautiful mug and buy it, the regret would set in as I headed home. I’d be pissed off at myself as I tried to find room amongst the other mugs.
And then what? Perhaps some new tea towels, a different set of placemats, a faux-antique clock to hang on the wall, that tidy set of shelves in robins-egg-blue, oh and the bookends to go with it. Gollum is insatiable. Replace everything I have with the new. Toss out the old. Don’t fix it. Screw sentimentality. I need change. That’s what’s missing. Change will make me happy. And others will see! I will photograph it all and show the world and they will see how beautiful, how perfect, how happy. It will make them miserable and they will want new things too. And they will spend and feel terrible about the bills but put it all on Instagram and Facebook and smile and we’ll compliment one another. Thumbs up! Happy Winky Face with Sunglasses!
So I walked out. The sale wasn’t all it was cracked up to be anyway. They rarely are. When you’re used to thrift shops and yard sales you get to be a sort of low-price snob.
Lesson? Don’t take me shopping retail if you want to enjoy yourself.
