Love Me

Everyone loves cheerful, bubbly people. Everyone loves happy-go-lucky, optimistic people. Until they day we collapse, we erupt. Then we becom emotional, sentimental. We become turbulent. We become unapproachable.

The thing is, we know we’re these things. That’s why we try so hard to make other peoples like us, because when other people are happy, we’re happy too. That’s the most direct way for us to escape from the things that weigh us down, plague us, the little voices in our head that whisper bad, bad things to us.

Is it healthy? No. When I break down in front of people that like me, that I want them to like me, I feel guilty. I feel guilty for burdening them, for weighing them down with my problems. I cannot bear the thought of angering them, of putting wedges between them and me. I need to be as close as possible

And that starts a vicious cycle, because we don’t want to share. We keep everything in ourselves, and it just weighs us down more and more. When the day comes that we decide to share, we don’t have the words. We can’t share, because we’ve never known how.