The 10 Things I Have The Power To Do Right Now

This is mostly a gratitude post.

1. Be financially independent

Never underestimate the power of financial independence. I don’t have any current loans and a house is far from affordable (at least in Bombay) at this point. Not that I need one. Being an only child means I would inherit my parents’ home. I used to be all wound up about wanting to buy my own place for the sake of independence. But my mum sat me down once and said, “Look, this place will come to you eventually. Why do you want to buy a place unless you get married later and you and your husband feel the need to buy a home.” She assumes I will marry at some point, even though I am not sure. Still, it makes me happy that a home loan of 20 years won’t be on my agenda in the short run at least.

This kind of financial independence means I can invest my money. I save up nearly half my salary, and I actually feel like I could save more. Even so, with the amount I invest in mutual funds and other modes of investment, I know I’m securing my future in a good way. I know money isn’t everything but it certainly is a necessity. I always love this line a friend of mine frequently uses, “Spend more to earn more.” I try doing that and it hasn’t gone wrong so far.

2. Pay my own bills

I’ve had people tell me my father/husband pays my bills and it makes me cringe thinking what I’d do if I was asked to never spend my own money and be provided for. Budgeting your spends, saving up — it builds character. No matter how much money you have, good discretion only comes to you if you are used to managing your money. I believe wealth creation is necessary; even though there’s a limit to the amount of money one can spend, the high of creating 2X or more of the amount that was first handed over to you is a good feeling.

3.Eliminate negativity

Over the years I’ve realized just how precious my life is right now and how I spend too long wasting it, focusing on negativity. As much as possible, I have tried to keep negativity at bay. Less number of Negative Nancy’s to focus on means I can be thankful for what I have and be grateful for what I am about to receive.

4. Eliminate leeches

There are far too many people who only get in touch when they need something. I am not the sort of person who won’t respond to calls, messages or emails. But I choose to ghost people who only get in touch when they need you. I feel very hurt when the people I have invested in treat me this way. So I do the only sensible thing I know of — cut them off! These people aren’t worth my time or effort.

5. Choose my friends

Growing up means prioritising quality over quantity. Good friends are rare and the best ones are folks you hit it off with in one go. I have stopped actively pursuing friendships if they aren’t organic. It helps, I suppose, that I am more of a loner. I have a shot at insulating myself that way. Insulation isn’t healthy, I know, but it is what I do to avoid risking overexposure.

6. Choose myself

It takes very long to establish rules, that no one can step into your sacred space that you need to visit every now and then. I love spending time by myself and if someone asks me what I do then, I have no answers. It’s not nothing (although the art of doing nothing is overrated). Just retiring to one’s own thoughts than having someone constantly talk to you is good. Everyone’s batteries need recharging. In India, domestic settings are very different from those abroad. Parents live with you, often in cramped settings (like my own parents’ home) like a 1 Bedroom-Hall-Kitchen home. The child, when it does grow up, often has space issues. I know I did, which was one of the reasons I moved out. In not having physical space, a lot of parents think it’s okay to encroach on their kid’s space, in well-intended ways. This is never okay. It took me quite a long time to put this in place with my parents, and they often don’t get space.

7. Cut off people

It is a luxury really, to be detached and objective with the folks one loves, especially when they’re toxic. I have been fortunate enough to have done this time and again and it sometimes makes me wonder what lesson the Universe is giving me. I have had too many of these folks in my space and it bothers me no end, until I throw them out.

8. Be happy

I choose happiness. I embrace it as mine. I have made this a habit over the years, and I must say I am happy how it has turned out. As the Albus Dumbledore once said,

“Happiness can be found in the darkest of times if only one remembers to turn on the light.”

9. Read more, read often

I was gifted a Kindle by a friend recently and I can’t be more thankful for the amount I am reading thanks to that. Reading gives me the kind of happiness few other things can bring. It also gives me more fuel and inspiration to work on my shortcomings.

10. Hope and gratitude

I remain hopeful for a happy future — every single day that comes my way. And grateful, always, grateful about how good the journey has been so far, and how incredibly lucky I’ve been to have the kind of experiences I have. I take it all and hold it tight because these are MY experiences that have taught me the good and the ugly things about life. They have shaped my perceptions and made me who I am today. And I’m proud to be who I am today.