The Pragmatic’s Workout

Do you ever work out and wonder if all that energy should be put into something, I don’t know, useful?

Never do I feel more like a hamster on a wheel than when I’m jogging on the spot in my living room. All this working out that we are doing as a species seems like such a waste. Yes, we do it for our own health (or for more shallow reasons) but it’s a lot of energy expenditure for the sake of expending energy.

The sun shone into my space today and I could no longer ignore the need for vacuuming. There is nothing so joyous, and so crushing as that pale yellow morning sun illuminating the world of hair and crumbs in your little world. As I hoovered and mopped and got the blood pumping, I wondered if someone has designed a kind of practical, domestic workout. Everyday chores become lunges, squats and bicep curls. I did a little searching online and found nothing.

As I hoovered and mopped and got the blood pumping, I wondered if someone has designed a kind of practical, domestic workout.

I have heard of people hooking up treadmills and stationary bikes to run the power for the television. That would be helpful as a means of controlling our consumption of entertainment. I’d love a treadmill on which I could write in a less arse-flattening position.

Perhaps all the gyms (and my living room) should have kinetic energy recovery systems in their floors. People would be a source of power. Sounds a bit like the Matrix, no? There is a gym in the UK that is powered by its users.

Back in the good ol’ days people would have had a laugh at the idea, concern about lack of physical labour. Imagine, sitting down so much that you have to go to a building with machines to make you stronger!

Maybe communities could have centres for fitness at which they assign people constructive tasks, according to their fitness level. Help out seniors or anyone unable to do strenuous physical jobs by doing things like shovelling and garden work. Heck, scrubbing my bathtub feels like an advanced version of downward dog (albeit with unpleasant chemicals).

In any case, I’ll be giving it some thought as I do pushups and jumping jacks. If anyone knows of such a workout, I’d love to hear about it.