Sofia Indy
Jul 30, 2017 · 3 min read
Federal District

They say home is where the heart is but home is within, within your body mind and soul home is you

They say home is where the heart is but home is within, within your body mind and soul you are home

why am I not teaching? when I teach, I always feel better

I write, live, surrender, stay

strong, do not give up, so fast

I continue going, get up, go straight

to where my heart is, where I’m hurt, what’s needed to be fixed, I heal

what’s broken I help where I’m needed

what if Teo’s here to do good? what if he’s right, instead of wrong, what if he loves me, for real? why else would he be here?

what if my parents are not wrong, but not right either?

what if living according to their plan - you’re doing well, even though you’re not feeling fulfilled - is not what is right, for me?

who knows what’s right?

I read a book on bipolar disorder and slowly start to see, my symptoms

my high low anxiety feverish mood swings, stress

my doctor says there’s nothing wrong but I know better

I know it from before, 11 years ago, when I was 17 left home for the first time did not feel home anywhere except for

within, with a coffee by my side, writing stories in café’s when it was not yet time to do so

I was alone, by myself, others sought others but I sought silence, with my books, my writing, my Self

my drawing, I used to draw, when I was little, I did so much drawing I could not stop

picturing my world in images, girls, women, hood

until I got too old to try, too tired of failing, too perfectionist to try and do something

that I’d certainly destroy later

I still need to do an effort to not delete the things I’ve done, day after day after day

it is so, tiring

luckily in my job, I cannot delete - I need to deliver

I feel like eating banana while I’m eating coconut, I could run out get gas go to the store now

I shouldn’t, I try to ground, I wear my Pink Floyd shirt

I feel as if I got fat, I did, get fatter, I got an ass now I’m no longer skinny, I’m not sure if it is my fault or my age or my living conditions, I’m teaching less, running less, my knees hurt, I swim almost every day but I eat bread, I should not eat bread, I should eat less carbs more vegetables, green ones, not red, I will pay attention to it soon

should I publish what I write? my manic episodes, my mood swings

my hatred then love, my failing then trying, to do better next time?

yes, I should

if it is not for me, it is for others

but it is mostly for me, honestly

to open up, get better, find a way that works for me

by writing, it is my writing it is, my writing

it is

And so it is

y eso es, Thank you

y namaste

may God be with me

in the wind, waves of time

effort, clouds, I feel it’s coming

The Weeknd — I Feel It Coming ft. Daft Punk

100 Naked Words

Est. May 2016. 100 vulnerable words, one day at a time. Every day.

Sofia Indy

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amzn.to/2YVw63D

100 Naked Words

Est. May 2016. 100 vulnerable words, one day at a time. Every day.

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