Uncomfortable silences and truths

I have a funny relationship with my father. I care a lot about him. I really do. Having moved out over 3 years ago, he still faults me for having abandoned him and my mother.

For my part, it is the constant coddling and need for conversation that eventually got to me. Changing careers about 5 years ago also compounded problems. They’ve gotten over that part but they somehow think I’ve morphed into a different person with time.

I can’t fully disagree because I’m not a very forgiving person anymore, I react pretty quickly and fight rough (but I won’t go so far as to lash out and hurt someone where it hurts most).

But the single most annoying thing about my parents is that when I’m home, there is no conversation that they want to have with me.

Silences are filled by television or the radio or discussions of WhatsApp forwards. I hate to admit it, but small talk does nothing for me, not even with people I love dearly.

I much prefer silences but silences make people uncomfortable. You know what makes me uncomfortable? The need to pepper silences with words, words trying to be important but failing miserably. I prefer enjoying a loved one’s company in silence sometimes.

But then, no one ever asks me.