You Always Have a Choice
What I have learned after my first heartbreak is that you always have a choice.
After my college boyfriend of over four years broke up with me, citing it as the first real decision he had made in years, I felt shame and regret that I had not taken the initiative to end things myself. My failure to act felt like an affirmation that he was right all along to disrespect me.
I do not feel ashamed any longer.
I hold myself accountable for the aspects of the relationship that I am not proud of. After a certain point, I had come to think that it was impossible to make any decisions or enjoy any aspect of life without him and that was unhealthy for both of us. I was afraid to move to New York City on my own and once we made it to the city, I was afraid to find my own place after he decided to betray me.
I do not regret deciding to continue to love him even though it meant that I ended up with a broken heart.
It took this heartbreak to realize that I do not need to be afraid anymore. I will never feel trapped again because, when forced, I was able to overcome every fear that had seemed insurmountable.
So this is my reminder to you. You always have a choice and you should regret nothing. I did not give up my power to walk away by loving him. I still can walk with my head held high knowing that I tried and that I cared deeply.
Now, I make decisions for myself free from judgment. Fear and anger are no longer the motivation behind my decisions and I greet each new day knowing that in my heart.
What if you had the courage to only do the work you love?
How much happier would you be? What separates the people who have the courage and those who don’t? Vulnerability. Accepting that they’re good enough to do the work that gives their life meaning.
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Next edition launches July 28th. Click here to apply to join the Braver Shortlist and tell me what work gives your life meaning. If you’re a good fit, you will have a spot saved for when the community re-opens.
