You might want to trust the most obnoxious clichés
Trauma brings out the worst of the platitudes, but maybe we should take them seriously.
“You seem like a strong woman.”
“Time heals all wounds.”
“You’ll be stronger for this in the long run.”
“You’ll be better off without him.”
“This is a chance to do things for you.”
Hard times make for trite talk. I’ve written about this a little, but today on a long drive (I‘ve done a lot of traveling during this divorce year — time alone with thoughts while roaming to escape them.) I thought about why these clichés exist. As a writer, I shun common turns of phrase, but real life makes me want to sit down with these platitudes and study them. Is there value hidden in plain sight?
Let’s start, today, with the one about time. Time heals all wounds. It’s true. Undeniably.
I can chalk up my slow but steady recovery (from betrayal, abandonment) to therapy or self-discovery or focus or determination. But really, I think passing days deserve the lion’s share of credit for the time to learn a new life and time to forget the old one. Time for my brain to reshape itself and pare the old neural connections .Time to replace a self-image of couplehood with an self-image of just me — my self, even if I’m still not quite sure who she is.
Next up: Better off…
