17. This American Life
What makes a criminal who has been in prison for 30 years tremble with fear and feel like he’s going to die from a pounding heart?
The same thing everyone else fears the most, of course:
Public speaking.
I recently re-watched the On Being Wrong Ted Talk, and in it Kathryn Schultz talks about how she interviewed Ira Glass and learned that each episode has the same “crypto-theme” —
And the crypto-theme is: ‘I thought this one thing was going to happen and something else happened instead.’ And the thing is,” says Ira Glass, “we need this. We need these moments of surprise and reversal and wrongness to make these stories work.” And for the rest of us, audience members, as listeners, as readers, we eat this stuff up. We love things like plot twists and red herrings and surprise endings. When it comes to our stories, we love being wrong.
The Transformers episode is completely in keeping with this overarching theme. There was one such twist in the fourth act where I was driving along on the freeway and actually gasped and said, wait, WHAT?
Much has been written and talked about Ira Glass’s mastery of narrative to keep the listener guessing and the plot moving forward.
But I think there’s an even bigger theme than I thought this one thing was going to happen and something else happened instead.
It’s this:
I thought I had nothing in common with this person, and something else happened instead.
In Transformers, the characters include a 90-year-old woman in a nursing home, her 62-year-old blind, one-legged boyfriend, an Afghan refugee in Detroit, a gay college student and his chemist mother, and an arsonist.
You begin by thinking, OK, this has nothing to do with my life. I can’t relate to immigrating from a war-torn country, coming out to my parents at Thanksgiving, or setting houses on fire.
By the end of the episode, you not only relate to the characters, you are deeply connected to them. You feel empathy. You ARE them.
This American Life creates this connection by zeroing in on idiosyncracies we all have in common. These small threads of humanity make us forget about seeing people as “them.” The inner similarities overtake the outer differences.
We need this. It’s why we make small talk about the weather to draw others out in conversation. It’s why we change our Facebook profile photos in solidarity in times of tragedy. They are small gestures that show we’re not so alone.
Which brings us back to the arsonist in prison as a case study. Rich Pierce, 52, realized he couldn’t hold a conversation with anyone, which was going to be a problem when he finally got out of jail.
So he did what anyone would do if they wanted to improve their speaking ability. He joined Toastmasters. He discusses what that was like with Keith O’brien.
Rich: They said, you want to do an ice-breaker speech? And I’m like, ice-breaker speech? Uh, what are you talking about, ice-breaker speech? That’s how freaked out I was, just right then and there.
Keith: Your hands are trembling.
Rich: Yes. And the anxiety came that quick. I’m like, OK. If I think I’m just going to get up there, I’m going to fall over and die. I’m going to have a heart attack. I’m going to fall over and die. That’s what’s going to happen.
Keith: You really thought you would die.
Rich: Well, that was my first thought. Get up, and your heart’s going to burst. And you’re gonna die.
I was a member of Toastmasters myself, and I can totally relate. That still happens to me, even after I give presentations and workshops all the time. You just learned to deal with it and move on with your life. You act confident, even when you’re not.
So did Rich.
Rich had been nervous, trembling even. And no one noticed.
Rich: So my insides don’t match up my outsides. That’s probably true for many people, don’t you think?
Keith: I do, actually. And that way, it’s very, very normal.
Rich: Yeah, so that’s comforting, that I can always portray myself as confident when I’m not. Until it comes naturally, anyway.
Keith: I got news for you, Rich. A lot of people on the outside, a lot of quote, unquote “real people,” they do that all the time.
Rich: Really?
Keith: Absolutely.
Rich: How do you know? Are you sure?
Keith: I’m quite sure. People put on airs all the time. People often will act like they’re more confident than they really are. It’s normal.
Rich: Yeah, I suppose so. I suppose so. Well, that’s comforting to know, that I’m not like a total washout.
Keith: No, he’s not. He doesn’t accept it, but it’s true. He’s way more normal than he thinks.
We thought we had nothing in common, and something else happened instead.
