#95 — Why No Woman Will Ever Date A Nice Guy

Lads, fix yourselves before you have to call an actual wizard to break the dry spell.

Photo by Alex Azabache on Unsplash (profaned by the author on Photoshop)

Damn, guys on dates would really be out there paying for dinner, holding doors, pulling out chairs and then waiting for David Attenborough’s explanation as to why women aren’t throwing panties at them in gratitude, aren’t they?

And then in comes a sunglassed, tank top cretin talking with the irritating cocksureness of a r/TheRedPill moderator, and a couple of drinks later something happens, some kind of unexplainable magic ethers the room and has every girl wanting to make chromosome cocktails with him.

What do women see in that douchebag?

I will admit it, nothing bedazzles a man quite like the mystery of female attraction (not even History Channel specials on the Bermuda Triangle, and those hit us right on the tinfoil hat), but I can’t let my kings keep making the same mistakes, taking their ballsacks water rafting on Axe bodyspray and thinking that reverse-engineering her Instagram username is gonna score them initiative points.

So let’s open your third eye to the truth, lads.

What makes women tick? Is it emotional availability? A sardonic sense of humour? Net annual income…