#16: My fear of dancing, and a positive thought
A friend once made a comment (to someone else), “Come on you’re 30, you’ve got to learn to let go!” This was because he didn’t want to go clubbing, and always stood in a corner instead of dancing. I kept quiet, but I could relate. People say that girls are more lithe as compared to boys, but I dance like an awkward duck. Whenever a friend wants to celebrate their birthday in a club, I am filled with dread, but go anyway. It’s their big day after all.
My awareness was first brought to this fact when I was seven, at a school event. We were all dressed up in colourful tribal attire, a splendid array of bright red silks and ornate headdresses. I enjoyed the dance sequence and poured my heart and soul into it during the practice session. I listened for the cues, danced with every fibre of my being, and made all the accompanying sound effects. Engrossed with the rhythm, my heart was full of joy, enthusiasm and excitement.
Then my teacher, Mrs. Guo, called me aside. In a brash, disapproving tone, she said, “Can we take you out of the dance routine? You dance like shit.” (Well in a more teacher-ly phrasing, but to that effect.)
My heart sank right to my toes. I hadn’t even been aware that there was such a thing as ‘bad dancing’! Up until that seven years of my life, dancing was just pure fun, with no judgment from anybody. With a single sentence she broke some of that innocence, and made me feel less than. I can’t quite remember what happened after that, but I believe they shifted me to the back row of dancers, a token of sympathy. Even so, I wasn’t dancing with joy anymore, but from a place of fear. “Am I doing this right? Are my movements good enough?” It was no longer fun. Even if another teacher had wanted me back in front, I could no longer dance with the same joy as I once had.
As an adult, I can’t blame anyone for my actions anymore, but this little incident did shape a part of me. Isn’t is amazing how that can happen in a blink of an eye? Now imagine what could happen if we were all more mindful. We could shape and colour the worlds of others, especially children, in a positive light. This influence can last forever, and can even be the thread of hope they cling on to during dark days. That thought gets me quite excited, because it doesn’t take much to add more beauty to this drab world, wherever or whoever we are.
Find me on:
www.achronicvoice.com
Facebook
Twitter
Instagram
Pinterest
If you enjoyed this article, please click on the ‘heart’ below. It will help others to find this post. Thank you very much for your support!
